"And thou shalt eat it [as] barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight."
-- Ezekiel 4:12
Drop another log on the fire, so to speak.
"If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel."
-- Deuteronomy 22:22
And yet those pious C Street gentlemen John Ensign and Mark Sanford still walk among us. (I forgot; Old Testament rules only apply to gays.)
"These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaks lies, and he that sows discord among brethren."
-- Proverbs 6:16-19
Has anyone told Fox News?
"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?"
-- Matthew 6:25
Has anyone told Sarah Palin?
"But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil."
-- Matthew 5:36-37
Has anyone told Bush – or his ghostwriter?
"If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property."
-- Exodus 21:20-21
Walmart has this sign hanging over the desks of their factory managers in China.
"And whatsoever man there be of the house of Israel, or of the strangers that sojourn among you, that eateth any manner of blood; I will even set my face against that soul that eateth blood, and will cut him off from among his people."
-- Leviticus 17:10
So much for that trip to the dentist.
"Moses assembled the whole Israelite community and said to them, "These are the things the LORD has commanded you to do: For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death."
-- Exodus 35:1-2
But it's the busiest shopping days of the year!
"Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things."
-- Genesis 9:3
Grandpa, get in here – it time to start supper! And 'green herb'? Paging Willie Nelson!
"This shall be the law of the leper in the day of his cleansing: He shall be brought unto the priest: And the priest shall go forth out of the camp; and the priest shall look, and, behold, if the plague of leprosy be healed in the leper; Then shall the priest command to take for him that is to be cleansed two birds alive and clean , and cedar wood, and scarlet, and hyssop: And the priest shall command that one of the birds be killed in an earthen vessel over running water: As for the living bird, he shall take it , and the cedar wood, and the scarlet, and the hyssop, and shall dip them and the living bird in the blood of the bird that was killed over the running water: And he shall sprinkle upon him that is to be cleansed from the leprosy seven times, and shall pronounce him clean, and shall let the living bird loose into the open field."
-- Leviticus 14:3-7
You don't even want to know about the cure for hemorrhoids.
"And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light bread. And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died. Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD, and against thee; pray unto the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us. And Moses prayed for the people. And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live. And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived."
-- Numbers 21:5-10
That's right, don't worship any graven image except this here brass snake on a pole! More cosmic comedy courtesy of the Bible.
Biblical quotes from Bad Bible Advice and the Crazy Bible page.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Thank God They're a Small Minority Edition
"It's plain hokum. If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em. It's an old political trick."
-- Harry S Truman
Your Tattlesnake has had running arguments with various Teabaggers and Tea Party sympathizers for many months now and they all share the same tactic: Should you ask a question they can't answer or make a point they can't refute, they start screaming at you or rudely talking over you, as if the volume of their voice can eradicate reality and reason. This leads not to debate, but confrontation, and that seems to be what they want.
Beyond that, exactly how do you 'debate' people who insist:
-- There are no racists in the Tea Party movement;
-- It's Obama and not George W. Bush who started the TARP bailouts of the banks and Wall Street;
-- The terrible economy is exclusively the fault of Obama and his liberal social programs;
-- All of Franklin D. Roosevelt's social programs were complete failures;
-- Social Security, Medicare, the VA and the GI Bill were/are not liberal social programs;
-- Obama has raised taxes for the poor and middle-class;
-- Obama is a Muslim/socialist/communist (take your pick) plotting the downfall of the US backed by George Soros' money (and Soros was a teenage Nazi, too, incidentally);
-- Rupert Murdoch is completely different from Soros, since he's a loyal, patriotic American (Murdoch is, of course, from Australia);
-- Obama was not born in this country and the 'liberal media' is hiding the truth;
-- Sarah Palin has been shunned by the 'lamestream' media, despite the millions she's made from doting MSM coverage of her;
-- God has personally chosen the Tea Party candidates and opposition candidates are all the pawns of Satan;
-- The only economic system God approves of is free market capitalism (you can look it up -- it's in the Bible somewhere);
-- Jesus endorsed the death penalty; it's obvious because he – duh – allowed himself to die on the cross;
-- Liberals, not big corporations, are sending American jobs overseas to Communist countries like China in a conspiracy to position China to take over the U.S.;
-- Liberals hate big corporations because they make people work for their money and liberals hate people who work for a living; they just want to reward blacks and Hispanics with 'our' money for sitting around on their fat asses all day watching TV and voting for Democrats;
-- Blacks and Hispanics are taking all of our good jobs, thanks to affirmative action;
-- Liberals are the true racists who want to keep minorities poor and in the ghetto and use organizations such as the defunct ACORN and the two idiots in the New Black Panthers to intimidate and threaten anyone who might disagree; white liberals want to turn blacks and Hispanics into slaves again;
-- Unemployment compensation is a 'Democrat plot' to reward minorities who are too lazy to look for a job;
-- There is no separation of church and state; you only have the right to believe in the monotheistic religion of your choice;
-- Except Islam, of course, where they worship Allah who is nothing like the God of Jesus or the Yahweh of Judaism;
-- Jesus hated homosexuals, despite the fact that he did not refer to them in the New Testament;
-- Our Founders, like Thomas Jefferson, did not support free public education – that's an idea straight from Stalin's Moscow;
-- Liberals are vicious fiends who enjoy killing babies through abortion;
-- Liberals want women to work outside the home so that their children will be raised by state-run Obamacare centers and will become his personal army in the future;
-- All liberals worship Karl Marx, Hitler, Stalin and Mao;
-- All liberals are atheists who hate religion and especially Christianity;
-- All liberals love Islam and support terrorists;
-- You have no Constitutional right to privacy, and it's all the fault of liberals and Democrats;
-- Only Fox News can be trusted for factual information;
-- Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh are a great men and teachers of the truth, and the proof of this is that liberals hate them.
Since they won't believe any proof that contradicts what they are saying, are deaf to reason, and blind to their own hypocrisies and inconsistencies, it is impossible to have a lucid, adult conversation with them. In short, they're crazy and they'll drive you crazy trying to communicate with them.
Thank God these nutcases are only a small, if voluble, minority.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
-- Harry S Truman
Your Tattlesnake has had running arguments with various Teabaggers and Tea Party sympathizers for many months now and they all share the same tactic: Should you ask a question they can't answer or make a point they can't refute, they start screaming at you or rudely talking over you, as if the volume of their voice can eradicate reality and reason. This leads not to debate, but confrontation, and that seems to be what they want.
Beyond that, exactly how do you 'debate' people who insist:
-- There are no racists in the Tea Party movement;
-- It's Obama and not George W. Bush who started the TARP bailouts of the banks and Wall Street;
-- The terrible economy is exclusively the fault of Obama and his liberal social programs;
-- All of Franklin D. Roosevelt's social programs were complete failures;
-- Social Security, Medicare, the VA and the GI Bill were/are not liberal social programs;
-- Obama has raised taxes for the poor and middle-class;
-- Obama is a Muslim/socialist/communist (take your pick) plotting the downfall of the US backed by George Soros' money (and Soros was a teenage Nazi, too, incidentally);
-- Rupert Murdoch is completely different from Soros, since he's a loyal, patriotic American (Murdoch is, of course, from Australia);
-- Obama was not born in this country and the 'liberal media' is hiding the truth;
-- Sarah Palin has been shunned by the 'lamestream' media, despite the millions she's made from doting MSM coverage of her;
-- God has personally chosen the Tea Party candidates and opposition candidates are all the pawns of Satan;
-- The only economic system God approves of is free market capitalism (you can look it up -- it's in the Bible somewhere);
-- Jesus endorsed the death penalty; it's obvious because he – duh – allowed himself to die on the cross;
-- Liberals, not big corporations, are sending American jobs overseas to Communist countries like China in a conspiracy to position China to take over the U.S.;
-- Liberals hate big corporations because they make people work for their money and liberals hate people who work for a living; they just want to reward blacks and Hispanics with 'our' money for sitting around on their fat asses all day watching TV and voting for Democrats;
-- Blacks and Hispanics are taking all of our good jobs, thanks to affirmative action;
-- Liberals are the true racists who want to keep minorities poor and in the ghetto and use organizations such as the defunct ACORN and the two idiots in the New Black Panthers to intimidate and threaten anyone who might disagree; white liberals want to turn blacks and Hispanics into slaves again;
-- Unemployment compensation is a 'Democrat plot' to reward minorities who are too lazy to look for a job;
-- There is no separation of church and state; you only have the right to believe in the monotheistic religion of your choice;
-- Except Islam, of course, where they worship Allah who is nothing like the God of Jesus or the Yahweh of Judaism;
-- Jesus hated homosexuals, despite the fact that he did not refer to them in the New Testament;
-- Our Founders, like Thomas Jefferson, did not support free public education – that's an idea straight from Stalin's Moscow;
-- Liberals are vicious fiends who enjoy killing babies through abortion;
-- Liberals want women to work outside the home so that their children will be raised by state-run Obamacare centers and will become his personal army in the future;
-- All liberals worship Karl Marx, Hitler, Stalin and Mao;
-- All liberals are atheists who hate religion and especially Christianity;
-- All liberals love Islam and support terrorists;
-- You have no Constitutional right to privacy, and it's all the fault of liberals and Democrats;
-- Only Fox News can be trusted for factual information;
-- Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh are a great men and teachers of the truth, and the proof of this is that liberals hate them.
Since they won't believe any proof that contradicts what they are saying, are deaf to reason, and blind to their own hypocrisies and inconsistencies, it is impossible to have a lucid, adult conversation with them. In short, they're crazy and they'll drive you crazy trying to communicate with them.
Thank God these nutcases are only a small, if voluble, minority.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The Tattlesnake -- Thanksgiving Prattle: Tortured Rhymes For Tortured Times Edition
Tortured Rhymes For Tortured Times
The horrible thing
That is spring
Gives way to summer –
Bummer!
And fall –
The word says it all –
And then the wonderful
Cold kick of winter
Which is like
Finding your stocking stuffed
With a burned-out cinder.
On Thanksgiving we
Give thanks to a
Thing unknown for
All we've been given –
Life, health, some wealth,
And a broadminded cynicism.
But when Bird Day arrives
We're still murky about
Who's the real turkey,
Readying for the season of
Cheery humbug bah,
Thee, he, she, them, it,
Or – ahem -- moi?
(End)
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
The horrible thing
That is spring
Gives way to summer –
Bummer!
And fall –
The word says it all –
And then the wonderful
Cold kick of winter
Which is like
Finding your stocking stuffed
With a burned-out cinder.
On Thanksgiving we
Give thanks to a
Thing unknown for
All we've been given –
Life, health, some wealth,
And a broadminded cynicism.
But when Bird Day arrives
We're still murky about
Who's the real turkey,
Readying for the season of
Cheery humbug bah,
Thee, he, she, them, it,
Or – ahem -- moi?
(End)
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Debunking Five Current Media Myths Edition
"Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."
-- George Bernard Shaw
1. The Republicans are going to end earmarks. Ha, ha! Both parties, but especially the GOP, thrive on earmarks – not only does it bring home the bacon, but it's a nice covert way to reward their corporate sponsors. The typically devious Republicans, with the help of some Blue Dog Dems in the Senate, are just going to change the name to something like 'help American families add-ons' or 'freedom appropriation inserts' and continue to happily earmark away.
2. The Republican Party is now strong. Another laugher. The GOP had to rebrand as the 'new Tea Party GOP' in 2010 and none of their candidates dared campaign with Junior Bush. In TV ads, many GOP candidates did not even mention they were Republicans. Rand Paul, the only true Teabagger in the Senate, is now making noises like a "go along to get along" guy, and various naïve Teabaggers in the House, like the anti-government-paid health care dimwit who demanded his government-paid health care ahead of schedule, have begun showing their strong streak of stupid, even before January's official swearing in. Most of us have noticed it's not the mid-90s anymore, with the booming economy of the Clinton years, except for Republicans like Rep. Darrell Issa. Tying the House up in endless attempts to impeach Obama is not going to endear the GOP to a crumbling nation dealing with what is really the second Great Depression. And some of the Teabaggers may be gravely offended to discover that the GOP has been lying to them. It's going to be a fractious two years in Congress that won't come out well for the GOP in 2012.
3. The Republicans have a plan to restore jobs. Related to the item above, and every bit as hilarious, the GOP has nothing except 'tax cuts' (spin and repeat, ad nauseum), and that isn't going to create any jobs except at corporate PR firms trying to peddle the fraud that tax cuts are working to create jobs, and that's not nearly enough to refloat the fast-sinking economy. As the fading middle-class notices its nails are ripping off trying to hang on to what they have left, brand 'Tea Party Republican' will become a political curse as loaded with negative connotations as 'Communist' or 'Cheney' is today.
4. The Republicans can balance the budget. The GOP hasn't been able to balance the federal budget since Reagan took office, and without Clinton-inspired tax hikes and a few turns by Big Bill, there wouldn't have been a surplus in 2000. Since the GOP doesn't want to end two over-priced wars from which their corporate supporters are getting wealthier, truly reform our wastefully expensive health care system, remove corporate tax loopholes, separate commercial and investment banks, and cut the defense budget drastically, that leaves social spending like Social Security and Medicare on the block. The unvarnished truth: Even if the GOP junked all federal social programs, which they won't be able to do, they still wouldn't be able to balance the budget. In fact, with their tax cuts for the wealthy of prime importance, along with preserving corporate tax loopholes, they'll be adding another trillion dollars to the debt. They'll remain the 'put it on the credit card and blame the Democrats' party they've been for 30 years.
5. The Democrats lost because they went too far left. Au contraire, mon frere, as George Carlin used to say. Think of it: In spite of the corporate millions that poured into the Senate race in Nevada, the GOP couldn't score what should have been an easy victory. In California, progressive and GOP target Barbara Boxer prevailed, and the Tea Party proved its basic worthlessness in the "I'm not a witch" fiasco that was Christine O'Donnell in Delaware. Only in those areas of the country dominated by Fox News and AM radio right-wing talkers, and not much counter-balancing local media, where the Teabaggers could work without serious scrutiny, did they score wins, mostly against Blue Dog Dems. The reason a lot of Dems stayed home in 2010 is that they were tired of voting for progressive Democrats and getting Republican Lite. Obama and the Dems should listen to the wisdom of Harry Truman, a Democrat who prevailed during a bad time for Dems in the late 1940s, "Given the choice between a Republican and a Democrat who acts like a Republican, people will vote for the real Republican every time."
Obama and the Dems might also heed this advice from Give 'Em Hell Harry: "Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don't ever apologize for anything."
But let's not expect too much.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
-- George Bernard Shaw
1. The Republicans are going to end earmarks. Ha, ha! Both parties, but especially the GOP, thrive on earmarks – not only does it bring home the bacon, but it's a nice covert way to reward their corporate sponsors. The typically devious Republicans, with the help of some Blue Dog Dems in the Senate, are just going to change the name to something like 'help American families add-ons' or 'freedom appropriation inserts' and continue to happily earmark away.
2. The Republican Party is now strong. Another laugher. The GOP had to rebrand as the 'new Tea Party GOP' in 2010 and none of their candidates dared campaign with Junior Bush. In TV ads, many GOP candidates did not even mention they were Republicans. Rand Paul, the only true Teabagger in the Senate, is now making noises like a "go along to get along" guy, and various naïve Teabaggers in the House, like the anti-government-paid health care dimwit who demanded his government-paid health care ahead of schedule, have begun showing their strong streak of stupid, even before January's official swearing in. Most of us have noticed it's not the mid-90s anymore, with the booming economy of the Clinton years, except for Republicans like Rep. Darrell Issa. Tying the House up in endless attempts to impeach Obama is not going to endear the GOP to a crumbling nation dealing with what is really the second Great Depression. And some of the Teabaggers may be gravely offended to discover that the GOP has been lying to them. It's going to be a fractious two years in Congress that won't come out well for the GOP in 2012.
3. The Republicans have a plan to restore jobs. Related to the item above, and every bit as hilarious, the GOP has nothing except 'tax cuts' (spin and repeat, ad nauseum), and that isn't going to create any jobs except at corporate PR firms trying to peddle the fraud that tax cuts are working to create jobs, and that's not nearly enough to refloat the fast-sinking economy. As the fading middle-class notices its nails are ripping off trying to hang on to what they have left, brand 'Tea Party Republican' will become a political curse as loaded with negative connotations as 'Communist' or 'Cheney' is today.
4. The Republicans can balance the budget. The GOP hasn't been able to balance the federal budget since Reagan took office, and without Clinton-inspired tax hikes and a few turns by Big Bill, there wouldn't have been a surplus in 2000. Since the GOP doesn't want to end two over-priced wars from which their corporate supporters are getting wealthier, truly reform our wastefully expensive health care system, remove corporate tax loopholes, separate commercial and investment banks, and cut the defense budget drastically, that leaves social spending like Social Security and Medicare on the block. The unvarnished truth: Even if the GOP junked all federal social programs, which they won't be able to do, they still wouldn't be able to balance the budget. In fact, with their tax cuts for the wealthy of prime importance, along with preserving corporate tax loopholes, they'll be adding another trillion dollars to the debt. They'll remain the 'put it on the credit card and blame the Democrats' party they've been for 30 years.
5. The Democrats lost because they went too far left. Au contraire, mon frere, as George Carlin used to say. Think of it: In spite of the corporate millions that poured into the Senate race in Nevada, the GOP couldn't score what should have been an easy victory. In California, progressive and GOP target Barbara Boxer prevailed, and the Tea Party proved its basic worthlessness in the "I'm not a witch" fiasco that was Christine O'Donnell in Delaware. Only in those areas of the country dominated by Fox News and AM radio right-wing talkers, and not much counter-balancing local media, where the Teabaggers could work without serious scrutiny, did they score wins, mostly against Blue Dog Dems. The reason a lot of Dems stayed home in 2010 is that they were tired of voting for progressive Democrats and getting Republican Lite. Obama and the Dems should listen to the wisdom of Harry Truman, a Democrat who prevailed during a bad time for Dems in the late 1940s, "Given the choice between a Republican and a Democrat who acts like a Republican, people will vote for the real Republican every time."
Obama and the Dems might also heed this advice from Give 'Em Hell Harry: "Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don't ever apologize for anything."
But let's not expect too much.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sarah Palin's Alaska -- The Edited Version
Left click on image to enlarge.Stay tuned for the uncut version tomorrow.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Republican Science: Common Sense GOP Solutions for an Aging Population
Left click on image to enlarge.Monday, November 15, 2010
Rupert Murdoch's New Fox Tea Party Network TV Schedule
What will the defeated Tea Party candidates and their helpers do for a job now? Go to work for Uncle Rupert, of course!
Left click on image to enlarge.Saturday, November 13, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, November 08, 2010
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Friday, November 05, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Jon Stewart WTF?!? and Other Miscellaneous Head-Slappers Edition
-- What is Jon Stewart playing at? I'm a big fan of The Daily Show star and think he's done a great job in the past, so it pains me to write this, but WTF?!? Okay, so to make his point at the Rally to Restore Sanity he tossed Keith Olbermann and Ed Schultz under the same bus reserved for Glenn Beck and Fox News. Last Monday, Olbermann graciously took his point and even cancelled indefinitely one of my favorite Countdown segments, "Worst Persons in the World." But the other day on TDS, here's Stewart heaping honey on Chris Wallace of Fox News and agreeing to appear on Wallace's "Fox News Sunday." Yes, he took a few mild swipes at Fox's obvious Republican partisanship, but he also equated MSNBC, the home of Olbermann and Schulz, to a AA ball club compared to the Big Leaguers at Fox. He didn't mean that in a complimentary way, but Jon can't seriously believe there is any parity between what Fox does and what MSNBC does. (For one thing, Fox doesn't give a liberal Democrat a three-hour weekday morning program, as MSNBC has with conservative Republican Joe Scarborough.) Put simply: Fox lies, as Stewart well knows, and MSNBC's progressive hosts, even though they may display passion for their side, don't. You can't possibly have a restoration of sanity without fact, and Jon Stewart knows that, as well. So, why is Stewart trying to make them both seem equal? A few possibilities:1. Since the hosts at MSNBC won't be invited on Fox – even Ed Schultz is banned now, I've heard – perhaps Stewart sees himself as the voice of reason who can parry the thrusts of the Noise Machine and inject some truth into Fox's stream-of-conspicuous nonsense. To do that, he must maintain some semblance of being 'reasonable,' which means to the right-wingers attacking MSNBC and progressives. Note: If this is the case, Obama has tried this tactic for the last two years and just had his head handed to him. It doesn't work.
2. Maybe Stewart just has some personal animosity toward Olbermann and Schultz and he's taking it out this way. That would be mighty petty of him, but nobody's perfect, particularly in an ego-driven arena like show business.
3. This is the ugly one: Comedy Central is owned by corporate media giant Viacom and it's possible they finally noticed TDS and Stewart have had quite an impact on recent elections and the voting trends of those under 30. Was Stewart brought in by Bush-backer and Viacom CEO Sumner Redstone for a pointed "Network" reminder of who signs his paychecks and told to back off? I have noticed Jon has been much more civil to right-wingers this year, even bottom of the barrel types like Bill O'Reilly. I'd hate to think the reason he's promoting this 'equivalency' is that he doesn't want to end up back humping the comedy club circuit doing 300 "Hey, I'll be at McLaughington's in Akron on Friday!" road gigs a year. He's now a middle-aged man with a home, wife, family and a pile of bills – powerful reasons to toe the corporate line.
4. And this is the really horrible one: Perhaps his head is being turned by the 'charm' of the right-wing corporatists; they can be very persuasive 'good guys' in person, unless you remember the whole fetid history of the Republican Party of the past 30 years. I recall when Dennis Miller had his HBO show years ago: first he brought on right-wingers to lightly mock them, as Stewart does; then he had them on to explain their positions while he nodded his head; then he became one of the Pod People himself. Miller should be a warning of what happens to those who turn their backs on sanity and the facts – they end up losing their core audience, and money, as they perform for a bunch of dimwit thumbsuckers who don't get their jokes.
5. Even more horrible than the last one: Stewart is angling for a nice, long-term berth at Fox hosting a TDS-style political satire show. It's no secret Roger Ailes has been looking to compete with TDS; what better way than to back up Murdoch's money truck and hire away Stewart? (Think Karl Rove: attack their strong point.) I'd hate to think this is Stewart's motivation, but it's a possibility.
Whatever the reason is, I wish Stewart would, in the interest of fairness, have Olbermann and Schultz as guests on his show to present their side, as he does with the Fox Newsers. (And Olbermann and Schultz should reciprocate by having Stewart on their shows to explain himself.) Let's clear the air.
I hope this is all a tiff among friends, rather than the creation of another Miller monstrosity or Ailes attack dog.
(H/T to Bartcop.com for the graphic.)
-- Uh, oh, it looks like Obama is in full capitulation mode on tax cuts for the rich. Instead, why doesn't he call the GOP's bluff on the issue of tax cuts by countering with this proposal: Reduce the top tax rate on individuals and corporations earning over $250K per year to 30 percent, with this caveat: All loopholes will be eliminated and the Estate Tax will return to 1980 levels. That means every corporation and wealthy individual will pay 30 cents of every dollar in taxes, no exceptions. In the tax rates below the top bracket, persons and businesses earning between $100K and $250K will pay 20 percent; those earning 70K to $100K will pay 10 percent, 20K to 70K will pay 5 percent, and those earning under 20K will pay no federal income tax at all. No loopholes, dodges, or tax havens for any of them, with the added benefit that the public will have an easier time of filing tax returns, while the IRS will be able to more cheaply enforce the tax laws and process returns, saving the taxpayers money. Will it happen? Probably not.
-- One final note: Why did nearly all of the high-profile national Tea Party candidates – Angle, O'Donnell, Buck, McMahon, and, as now seems likely, Joe Miller – lose while so many were elected to the House? Easy – media coverage. In those areas of the country where local news has been decimated by corporate cutbacks, radio is dominated by Rush Limbaugh and his imitators, and Fox News is on in every restaurant and bar, the Tea Partiers were not confronted on their more wacky beliefs, their resumes were not closely examined, and they were not subjected to tough interviews, while Obama and the Dems were excoriated with constant Glenn Beck intensity. Without the help of massive infusions of corporate cash, Fox News, and the widespread ownership of radio by right-wing corporations that aid the GOP, the results would have been much different Tuesday. Although Thom Hartmann may disagree, this is why we need the Fairness Doctrine reinstated.
-- Uh, oh, it looks like Obama is in full capitulation mode on tax cuts for the rich. Instead, why doesn't he call the GOP's bluff on the issue of tax cuts by countering with this proposal: Reduce the top tax rate on individuals and corporations earning over $250K per year to 30 percent, with this caveat: All loopholes will be eliminated and the Estate Tax will return to 1980 levels. That means every corporation and wealthy individual will pay 30 cents of every dollar in taxes, no exceptions. In the tax rates below the top bracket, persons and businesses earning between $100K and $250K will pay 20 percent; those earning 70K to $100K will pay 10 percent, 20K to 70K will pay 5 percent, and those earning under 20K will pay no federal income tax at all. No loopholes, dodges, or tax havens for any of them, with the added benefit that the public will have an easier time of filing tax returns, while the IRS will be able to more cheaply enforce the tax laws and process returns, saving the taxpayers money. Will it happen? Probably not.
-- One final note: Why did nearly all of the high-profile national Tea Party candidates – Angle, O'Donnell, Buck, McMahon, and, as now seems likely, Joe Miller – lose while so many were elected to the House? Easy – media coverage. In those areas of the country where local news has been decimated by corporate cutbacks, radio is dominated by Rush Limbaugh and his imitators, and Fox News is on in every restaurant and bar, the Tea Partiers were not confronted on their more wacky beliefs, their resumes were not closely examined, and they were not subjected to tough interviews, while Obama and the Dems were excoriated with constant Glenn Beck intensity. Without the help of massive infusions of corporate cash, Fox News, and the widespread ownership of radio by right-wing corporations that aid the GOP, the results would have been much different Tuesday. Although Thom Hartmann may disagree, this is why we need the Fairness Doctrine reinstated.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Sifting Through the Post-Election Ashes Edition
First off, in my previous 'Toast and Coast' pieces, I accurately predicted that Republican Teabaggers Linda McMahon, Carl Paladino, and the Sisterhood of the Traveling Palins, Sharron Angle and Christine O'Donnell, were all toast, along with the Billionaire Girls Club of Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina. G.I. Joe Miller in Alaska and Ken Buck in Colorado are still undecided at this hour. That leaves two where the Tattler's crystal ball was cloudy – Rand "There's Something About an Aqua Buddha Man" Paul in Kentucky and Mark "Captain Blight" Kirk in Illinois – but 6 out of 8 ain't bad. Ron Paul's offshoot was the biggest surprise, but probably should not have been in a Red State that elected a turtle wax replicant like the sour-lipped Mitch McConnell to the Senate.
As I watched the televised bulletins from the Planet Xenon otherwise known as the Mainstream Media carve up and autopsy What This Election Means today, of course the MSM managed to bungle and bypass any realistic diagnosis as they became trapped in the humbug of their own quackery and delusion. A blur of the Pundit Class' finest recruits for Perdition hilariously kept sawing on some iteration of this soggy paper-maché log: "This election will show Obama he has to cooperate with the Republicans to get things done!" Really? What has he been doing so far?
The official DeeCee Democratic Party, naturally, will take the wrong lesson from this drubbing – "We need to be more conservative!" rather than, "We have to stand for our progressive principles and stop backing down!" So, have no worries, Teabaggers, the GOP, even though a majority only in the House, will get everything it wants out of the Senate, from budget-busting tax cuts for the wealthy and further corporate deregulation to, perhaps, some curtailing of unemployment benefits and elimination of the minimum wage, hastening our final plunge off the economic cliff.
And you won't hear John Boehner solemnly announcing, "Impeachment is off the table!" To the contrary, the Republicans will be conducting proctological investigations of every person who ever spoke to Obama in an effort to find some scrap of sleaze with which to remove him from office, aided and abetted by Fox News and the other media gangsters on the right. (Orly Taitz, get ready for your Congressional appearance!) While the GOP likely won't be successful at actually impeaching Obama, they will so muddy his name and reputation that they'll get their wish – he'll be a one-term footnote in history, 'first African-American president,' with no other accomplishments listed.
In the Tattler's occasional Unscientific Barroom Polls, I ask tipplers of various ages and colors to state, in a few short words, what they think conservative Republicans believe in: "Tax cuts," "Small government," and "Strong defense," were the most frequent answers. I then ask the same question regarding the Democrats. Most people stared at me agape, unable to think of a thing, although one respondent said "Weakness" and another uttered "Big government." During the time of FDR, most Americans presented with the same query about Democrats would have said, "Saving the economy," "Fighting for the little guy," "Creating jobs." Will the Dems learn that lesson? You have to stand for something.
In two years America will be sick of the Republicans, or what's left of America anyway, and ready to toss the conservatives out in favor of Democrats who think they should be more conservative, and the dance will continue until the global economic collapse that is certain unless a miracle happens and Obama starts taking tips from FDR instead of Lincoln.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
As I watched the televised bulletins from the Planet Xenon otherwise known as the Mainstream Media carve up and autopsy What This Election Means today, of course the MSM managed to bungle and bypass any realistic diagnosis as they became trapped in the humbug of their own quackery and delusion. A blur of the Pundit Class' finest recruits for Perdition hilariously kept sawing on some iteration of this soggy paper-maché log: "This election will show Obama he has to cooperate with the Republicans to get things done!" Really? What has he been doing so far?
The official DeeCee Democratic Party, naturally, will take the wrong lesson from this drubbing – "We need to be more conservative!" rather than, "We have to stand for our progressive principles and stop backing down!" So, have no worries, Teabaggers, the GOP, even though a majority only in the House, will get everything it wants out of the Senate, from budget-busting tax cuts for the wealthy and further corporate deregulation to, perhaps, some curtailing of unemployment benefits and elimination of the minimum wage, hastening our final plunge off the economic cliff.
And you won't hear John Boehner solemnly announcing, "Impeachment is off the table!" To the contrary, the Republicans will be conducting proctological investigations of every person who ever spoke to Obama in an effort to find some scrap of sleaze with which to remove him from office, aided and abetted by Fox News and the other media gangsters on the right. (Orly Taitz, get ready for your Congressional appearance!) While the GOP likely won't be successful at actually impeaching Obama, they will so muddy his name and reputation that they'll get their wish – he'll be a one-term footnote in history, 'first African-American president,' with no other accomplishments listed.
In the Tattler's occasional Unscientific Barroom Polls, I ask tipplers of various ages and colors to state, in a few short words, what they think conservative Republicans believe in: "Tax cuts," "Small government," and "Strong defense," were the most frequent answers. I then ask the same question regarding the Democrats. Most people stared at me agape, unable to think of a thing, although one respondent said "Weakness" and another uttered "Big government." During the time of FDR, most Americans presented with the same query about Democrats would have said, "Saving the economy," "Fighting for the little guy," "Creating jobs." Will the Dems learn that lesson? You have to stand for something.
In two years America will be sick of the Republicans, or what's left of America anyway, and ready to toss the conservatives out in favor of Democrats who think they should be more conservative, and the dance will continue until the global economic collapse that is certain unless a miracle happens and Obama starts taking tips from FDR instead of Lincoln.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Yankee Doodle Kydoodles and Other Yowling Yowfs of the Teabaggers Pox Americana Edition
"What then is freedom madness? God forbid. For freedom and madness exist not together."
-- Epictetus, "Golden Sayings," No. XXIX
Non-corporate dissectors of the political scene, and Board Certified (in the Rand Paul sense) observers such as myself, have learned to read the stray tea leaves crushed beneath the corporately-financed circus wagon of this year's New, Improved Tidal Wave GOP ("Democracy's Detergent!") and the occasional bits of actual useful information that drop off the Big Media buffet table of parboiled conventional-wisdom offal determined fit for the rustics by the over-paid 'two legs good, two legs with money great' crew that pounds a dismal beat between Beltway Washington and the glass canyons of New York.
A pattern has emerged as clear as the unblinking eyes of Karl Rove when he's lying through his teeth; despite the noises made by national pollsters -- whose questionable practices include antiquated techniques from the 'one ringy-dingy' age of rotary-dial Bakelite phones, and a habitual penchant for loading poll questions with such baloney as, "If you had to vote for a really fantastic Republican candidate or a Democrat who nightly dines on dogs and cats, which would you prefer?" or "Yes, I know it's the headquarters of Koch Industries; I wondered how you planned to vote this election?"-- it's now plain internal polling done by the GOP has revealed that their bumble-brained Teabagger candidates are losing far and wide, and by more drastic margins than the MSM Silly Swillers of Echo Valley would have us believe. Hence, nearly a week before the actual election, we have Republican charges of 'vote fraud' and the vow that voter intimi – er – 'integrity' squads will be dispatched to those areas rife with denizens who made the poor choice to be born with skin darker than Sarah Palin's and, unlike politely accommodating indigent whites in certain parts of the country, insist on voting against those who would gladly serve them up by the shovel to feudalistic Chinese-style capitalism.
Your Tattler could not avoid sketching out what these Teabagger 'voter integrity squads' might look like. Will they be in full 18th century drag from tricorn hat to knee-britches with silk stockings and ask questions of voters in the formal English of two centuries past? "Hark thee, fair citizen! Dost thou possess the required credentials to participate in this seemly exercise of democracy?" If so, I dost predicteth a spate of hilarity as laughing voters push by the costumed lunkheads, most probably thinking they are hawking the opening of a new Long John Silver's rather than checking voter identification.
Of course, Ohio's Republican House contender Rich Iott may dispatch his Nazi re-enactors to prevent any chicanery at the polls. Will they be dressed in complete SS regalia and posing their queries in a fake German accent, ala Col. Klink? "I must zee your papers now, schweinhundt!" This, too, affords too much room for risible ridiculousness, if not danger for the Nazi imposters – some unamused WWII vet might grab a rifle and take potshots at them from his wheelchair or walker.
But then, the Teabaggery may appear in yellow t-shirts with the affable "Don't Tread on Me" embossed in acrylic on the front, accompanied by a gun strapped to their leg in one of those goofy Velcro thigh holsters. Sure, they seem to mean business, but the thigh-holster can be a knotty problem – if the straps are too loose, the pistol humiliatingly falls down on your foot and resembles nothing so much as a public depantsing; if the straps are too tight, it cuts off blood flow and the Teabagger tough guy is reduced to hopping around on one foot, trying to intimidate minority voters while restoring circulation to his numb leg. "Hey – Ow! Ow! – you got legal identification to vote – Ow! Ow! – here?" That path, too, leads to nothing other than comical YouTube videos and an excuse for some droll Jon Stewart barbs on The Daily Show.
But no matter what garb the Teabaggers don -- whether it's grim 'Men in Black' mufti like Joe Miller's amateur-hour security guards in Alaska, or the simpler straw hat with hanging teabags stapled around the brim – the fact is that most Teabaggers hail from rural, caucasian areas of the country. While they are confident they intimately know the psyche of black people from long exposure to lawn ornamentation and Bill Cosby reruns, and no doubt believe they will be greeted in Inner City regions by courteous men and women emulating our gracious president, such may not be the case. I can think of several black folks of my acquaintance who would not take kindly to being confronted by some rude peckerwood demanding their papers. They would definitely not refrain from putting the 'Mr. T' in Tea Party, so to speak.
What's more, if Hispanics are the vicious beheading drug gangsters the trembling Teabaggers have been told they are, how many of Beck's Crusaders will want to hang around in front of polling places in Latino neighborhoods, waiting for the Machete of Death to fall? These Tea Partiers are, after all, gullible ante-bellum conservatives who are scared of almost everything, including any concept hatched after the Dark Ages, and unlikely to chance confronting the living representations of the actors Sharron Angle sticks in her Halloween Party TV ads.
There will be intimidation at the polls -- the Teabaggers will be terrified into sitting in their vans with the doors locked, hunched down, trying not to wet themselves. This GOP 'project' will be as big a bust as Rove's electoral math in 2006.
Add to that the number of voters who find criminally stomping on a passive woman's head at a public event offensive, and you have an upset for the Democrats in the making, and the Teabaggers quickly jettisoned from the GOP ranks damned with the only epithet the cynical Republican elite consistently honors, 'loser'.
Contrary to the news-cycle fantasies of Media Conventional Wisdom to which would-be president Rudy Giuliani succumbed, mostly a confection of giddy press releases, past performance, and inbred cocktail party jabber, the fanatical Teabagger GOP – a small minority never much more than empty rage, incoherent ideas, and shifting wind, financed by fools with more money than brains -- peaked months ago and has been in decline ever since as Democratic candidates rose in even the archaic landline-phone polls that favor older, whiter, more rural, and more conservative voters – in other words, the core of the Tea Party movement. If the Punditocracy that has for the past year woven the fiction of massive GOP gains in 2010 were not so obstinate in supporting their own discredited imaginings, and getting a pat on the head from the large corporations that dispense their paychecks, they might look at this information from a different angle, and I don't mean Sharron: Around the country, the Democrats have pulled even or ahead with the voters the desiccated, weakened GOP desperately needs to get elected.
Hang down your bulbous Chuck Schulz head, Charlie Cook.
Sure, it's possible that Dems will stay home in droves to teach Obama some kind of obscure lesson, which is reminiscent of the story about the boy who chopped off half his foot with an axe for attention. He got the attention he craved – his family thought he was nuts and stuck him in a mental hospital, and he had to live out his life limping around with half his foot missing. And disgusted independent voters might decide to commit economic suicide by entrusting their futures to babbling goofballs like Angle and Rand Paul, and corporate vipers like John Boehner and Mitch McConnell, and complete the job of obliterating our Constitution, rewarding the rich at the expense of the rest of us, eliminating social programs, and shipping what's left of our jobs overseas or forcing us to work for slave wages.
Then, I'll hang down my head, but I won't be alone – millions of Americans, in a few years, will feel the full impact of Reverse Robin Hood Republicanism and be doing the same, and what's left of America will depend on the thin thread of ink flowing from the president's veto pen.
If it comes to that point, you'd better hope Obama doesn't hold a grudge and decide to teach the country a lesson.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Kydoodle: To make loud, meaningless noise.
(From the book "Words" by Paul Dickson.)
Yowf: One whose importance exceeds [their] merit. Rich or influential fools. (Coined by Gelet Burgess who also invented the words 'blurb' and 'bromide.')
-- Epictetus, "Golden Sayings," No. XXIX
Non-corporate dissectors of the political scene, and Board Certified (in the Rand Paul sense) observers such as myself, have learned to read the stray tea leaves crushed beneath the corporately-financed circus wagon of this year's New, Improved Tidal Wave GOP ("Democracy's Detergent!") and the occasional bits of actual useful information that drop off the Big Media buffet table of parboiled conventional-wisdom offal determined fit for the rustics by the over-paid 'two legs good, two legs with money great' crew that pounds a dismal beat between Beltway Washington and the glass canyons of New York.
A pattern has emerged as clear as the unblinking eyes of Karl Rove when he's lying through his teeth; despite the noises made by national pollsters -- whose questionable practices include antiquated techniques from the 'one ringy-dingy' age of rotary-dial Bakelite phones, and a habitual penchant for loading poll questions with such baloney as, "If you had to vote for a really fantastic Republican candidate or a Democrat who nightly dines on dogs and cats, which would you prefer?" or "Yes, I know it's the headquarters of Koch Industries; I wondered how you planned to vote this election?"-- it's now plain internal polling done by the GOP has revealed that their bumble-brained Teabagger candidates are losing far and wide, and by more drastic margins than the MSM Silly Swillers of Echo Valley would have us believe. Hence, nearly a week before the actual election, we have Republican charges of 'vote fraud' and the vow that voter intimi – er – 'integrity' squads will be dispatched to those areas rife with denizens who made the poor choice to be born with skin darker than Sarah Palin's and, unlike politely accommodating indigent whites in certain parts of the country, insist on voting against those who would gladly serve them up by the shovel to feudalistic Chinese-style capitalism.
Your Tattler could not avoid sketching out what these Teabagger 'voter integrity squads' might look like. Will they be in full 18th century drag from tricorn hat to knee-britches with silk stockings and ask questions of voters in the formal English of two centuries past? "Hark thee, fair citizen! Dost thou possess the required credentials to participate in this seemly exercise of democracy?" If so, I dost predicteth a spate of hilarity as laughing voters push by the costumed lunkheads, most probably thinking they are hawking the opening of a new Long John Silver's rather than checking voter identification.
Of course, Ohio's Republican House contender Rich Iott may dispatch his Nazi re-enactors to prevent any chicanery at the polls. Will they be dressed in complete SS regalia and posing their queries in a fake German accent, ala Col. Klink? "I must zee your papers now, schweinhundt!" This, too, affords too much room for risible ridiculousness, if not danger for the Nazi imposters – some unamused WWII vet might grab a rifle and take potshots at them from his wheelchair or walker.
But then, the Teabaggery may appear in yellow t-shirts with the affable "Don't Tread on Me" embossed in acrylic on the front, accompanied by a gun strapped to their leg in one of those goofy Velcro thigh holsters. Sure, they seem to mean business, but the thigh-holster can be a knotty problem – if the straps are too loose, the pistol humiliatingly falls down on your foot and resembles nothing so much as a public depantsing; if the straps are too tight, it cuts off blood flow and the Teabagger tough guy is reduced to hopping around on one foot, trying to intimidate minority voters while restoring circulation to his numb leg. "Hey – Ow! Ow! – you got legal identification to vote – Ow! Ow! – here?" That path, too, leads to nothing other than comical YouTube videos and an excuse for some droll Jon Stewart barbs on The Daily Show.
But no matter what garb the Teabaggers don -- whether it's grim 'Men in Black' mufti like Joe Miller's amateur-hour security guards in Alaska, or the simpler straw hat with hanging teabags stapled around the brim – the fact is that most Teabaggers hail from rural, caucasian areas of the country. While they are confident they intimately know the psyche of black people from long exposure to lawn ornamentation and Bill Cosby reruns, and no doubt believe they will be greeted in Inner City regions by courteous men and women emulating our gracious president, such may not be the case. I can think of several black folks of my acquaintance who would not take kindly to being confronted by some rude peckerwood demanding their papers. They would definitely not refrain from putting the 'Mr. T' in Tea Party, so to speak.
What's more, if Hispanics are the vicious beheading drug gangsters the trembling Teabaggers have been told they are, how many of Beck's Crusaders will want to hang around in front of polling places in Latino neighborhoods, waiting for the Machete of Death to fall? These Tea Partiers are, after all, gullible ante-bellum conservatives who are scared of almost everything, including any concept hatched after the Dark Ages, and unlikely to chance confronting the living representations of the actors Sharron Angle sticks in her Halloween Party TV ads.
There will be intimidation at the polls -- the Teabaggers will be terrified into sitting in their vans with the doors locked, hunched down, trying not to wet themselves. This GOP 'project' will be as big a bust as Rove's electoral math in 2006.
Add to that the number of voters who find criminally stomping on a passive woman's head at a public event offensive, and you have an upset for the Democrats in the making, and the Teabaggers quickly jettisoned from the GOP ranks damned with the only epithet the cynical Republican elite consistently honors, 'loser'.
Contrary to the news-cycle fantasies of Media Conventional Wisdom to which would-be president Rudy Giuliani succumbed, mostly a confection of giddy press releases, past performance, and inbred cocktail party jabber, the fanatical Teabagger GOP – a small minority never much more than empty rage, incoherent ideas, and shifting wind, financed by fools with more money than brains -- peaked months ago and has been in decline ever since as Democratic candidates rose in even the archaic landline-phone polls that favor older, whiter, more rural, and more conservative voters – in other words, the core of the Tea Party movement. If the Punditocracy that has for the past year woven the fiction of massive GOP gains in 2010 were not so obstinate in supporting their own discredited imaginings, and getting a pat on the head from the large corporations that dispense their paychecks, they might look at this information from a different angle, and I don't mean Sharron: Around the country, the Democrats have pulled even or ahead with the voters the desiccated, weakened GOP desperately needs to get elected.
Hang down your bulbous Chuck Schulz head, Charlie Cook.
Sure, it's possible that Dems will stay home in droves to teach Obama some kind of obscure lesson, which is reminiscent of the story about the boy who chopped off half his foot with an axe for attention. He got the attention he craved – his family thought he was nuts and stuck him in a mental hospital, and he had to live out his life limping around with half his foot missing. And disgusted independent voters might decide to commit economic suicide by entrusting their futures to babbling goofballs like Angle and Rand Paul, and corporate vipers like John Boehner and Mitch McConnell, and complete the job of obliterating our Constitution, rewarding the rich at the expense of the rest of us, eliminating social programs, and shipping what's left of our jobs overseas or forcing us to work for slave wages.
Then, I'll hang down my head, but I won't be alone – millions of Americans, in a few years, will feel the full impact of Reverse Robin Hood Republicanism and be doing the same, and what's left of America will depend on the thin thread of ink flowing from the president's veto pen.
If it comes to that point, you'd better hope Obama doesn't hold a grudge and decide to teach the country a lesson.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Kydoodle: To make loud, meaningless noise.
(From the book "Words" by Paul Dickson.)
Yowf: One whose importance exceeds [their] merit. Rich or influential fools. (Coined by Gelet Burgess who also invented the words 'blurb' and 'bromide.')
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Will GOP Face A Major Blowback This Year Due To Secret Corporate Funding?
Left click on image to enlarge.Thursday, October 21, 2010
The GOP Can Dish It Out, But They Can't Take It
…And the MSM double-standard on negative ads
Left click on image to enlarge.Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
What if Teabagger and Nazi Re-Enactor Rich Iott Was a Democrat?
Left click on image to enlarge.
Note: GOP Rep. Eric Cantor has publicly repudiated Iott, as has part of the MSM, but that's about it.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Tattlesnake – More Toast and Coast Edition
Because once was not enough…
Given their deep concern over budget deficits, someone in the Noose Media should ask one of these Tea Party candidates if they are willing, once in office, to save the taxpayers a little money by taking no more than $50K per year in salary, buy their health insurance the same way the average prole does, and forgo their housing allowance, generous government pension, and other perks for Congress members. Oh, right, they can't ask them that because they run in terror from all but the 'GOP friendly' media.
With rumors circulating that the GOP Money Machine has quietly given up on Christine O'Donnell after her pathetic "do I need to know that?" debate performance; Sharron Angle's bizarre Valley-of-the-Dolls, all-you-need-is-the-free-market mutual press conference with Harry Reid (where has Sharron been the past 30 years?), and Carl Paladino's further fattening of his job resume for a gig with The Onion News Service, it's become clear how weak the Republican Party really is these days. They are being led around by vacuous political shock-jocks like Limbaugh and Beck; their Teabagger candidates are ignorant, barely-coherent dingbats pushing stink-bomb Gilded Age economic cure-alls; and the only things keeping the sinking GOP dinghy afloat is Fox News, their dutiful handmaidens in the Big Media, and piles of undisclosed corporate cash for negative ads. If not for the aforementioned, the Know-Nothing Party would be curled up in a ball in the corner, mewling for mercy. They have no constituency except that 20 percent of the country that is uninstitutionalized wingnut – and that's not enough to get anyone elected. Americans may be angry with the Democrats, but that doesn't mean they want to move in with a family of moon-howling morons.
Given their deep concern over budget deficits, someone in the Noose Media should ask one of these Tea Party candidates if they are willing, once in office, to save the taxpayers a little money by taking no more than $50K per year in salary, buy their health insurance the same way the average prole does, and forgo their housing allowance, generous government pension, and other perks for Congress members. Oh, right, they can't ask them that because they run in terror from all but the 'GOP friendly' media.
With rumors circulating that the GOP Money Machine has quietly given up on Christine O'Donnell after her pathetic "do I need to know that?" debate performance; Sharron Angle's bizarre Valley-of-the-Dolls, all-you-need-is-the-free-market mutual press conference with Harry Reid (where has Sharron been the past 30 years?), and Carl Paladino's further fattening of his job resume for a gig with The Onion News Service, it's become clear how weak the Republican Party really is these days. They are being led around by vacuous political shock-jocks like Limbaugh and Beck; their Teabagger candidates are ignorant, barely-coherent dingbats pushing stink-bomb Gilded Age economic cure-alls; and the only things keeping the sinking GOP dinghy afloat is Fox News, their dutiful handmaidens in the Big Media, and piles of undisclosed corporate cash for negative ads. If not for the aforementioned, the Know-Nothing Party would be curled up in a ball in the corner, mewling for mercy. They have no constituency except that 20 percent of the country that is uninstitutionalized wingnut – and that's not enough to get anyone elected. Americans may be angry with the Democrats, but that doesn't mean they want to move in with a family of moon-howling morons.
Consider that a month ago, every MSM pundit with an AFTRA card was assuring us plebes of Big Wins for the GOP in such states as Nevada, Delaware and Alaska, based on the polls and past off-year electoral history. Now, not so much -- toss-ups everywhere as the Dems have come even in polls and, in the case of DE, shot up about 20 points ahead.
With that said, the Tattler again consults his Toast and Coast flash cards on some of the prominent races of Pax Americana:
Toast: Joe Miller, GOP candidate for US Senate from Alaska.
Tea Party Joe's enthusiastic endorsement by multi-millionaire Sarah Palin probably didn't help him much with Alaskans – she's not well-liked in the Great White North anymore. On top of that, the hits just keep coming that he has a bundle of regressive views on Social Security, Medicare and unemployment insurance, which basically amount to telling the serfs to "suck it" while doling out tax cuts for the well-heeled heels. Not good. Then there are the recent embarrassing revelations that his wife collected evil unemployment benefits, his refusal to answer questions about his past hypocrisies, and a write-in challenge from Preferred Establishment Republican and sitting senator Lisa Murkowski, and you have Joe melting faster than a Bering Sea glacier in an Al Gore film.
Coast: It may be a squeaker but Sitka Mayor Scott McAdams, who has risen to within six points of Miller, will pull out this upset victory in what once was a Deep Red State.
Toast: Mark Kirk, GOP candidate for US Senate from Illinois.
Just because I can't resist the rhyme, let me say Kirk is a jerk, but it's true. Aside from inflating his US Navy service beyond recognition, he's had a whole FUBAR political career as a Congressman. He's not a Teabagger, he's a spoiled little pain-in-the-ass from a suburban district of Chicago who apparently has never taken the time to understand what the big metropolitan neighbors his constituents depend on need and then wonders why things aren't working better. He's also not great at discerning what's important to downstate farmers and blue-collar workers with whom he feels no affinity or compassion. He's a vacant tax-cut-crazy political dilettante who votes as instructed by the GOP Elite. It'll be a relief to wave 'bon voyage' to this political parasite. His Dem opponent is no prize, but it's hard to imagine how he could be worse than Kirk.
Coast: Alexi Giannoulias, but only by a couple of points.
Toast: Michael Bennet, Democratic Senator from Colorado.
Sorry to say, but Bennet has run a soft, inchoate campaign against Tea Party goofball Ken Buck, and it's showing. Meanwhile, Republican Ken has been Strong and Wrong, which sells well in the Rocky Mountain State, and even told the Birthers to stop asking him stupid questions in public, all of which resembles manliness to those deprived of oxygen in high altitudes. Colorado is a mixed bag with progressive enclaves such as Denver, Aspen and Telluride, but then there's uber-Christopublican Colorado Springs and the Pine-Tree Yahoos and Desk-Set Mountain Men and SUV Cowboys who inhabit the rest of the place. They're all for Buck and Bennet just doesn't have the testicular appeal to overcome it.
Coast: Ken Buck, by a thread-narrow margin.
Toast: Linda McMahon, GOP candidate for US Senate from Connecticut.
Linda is, for lack of a better term, a knuckle-dragging dimwit who hilariously thinks she's worked in the 'real world' because she ran a pro wrestling organization. She's as phony as a Ric Flair knee-drop. Joe Lieberman notwithstanding, CT's a Blue State and AG Richard Blumenthal is still popular despite artificially-enhancing his Marine Corps war record.
Linda is, for lack of a better term, a knuckle-dragging dimwit who hilariously thinks she's worked in the 'real world' because she ran a pro wrestling organization. She's as phony as a Ric Flair knee-drop. Joe Lieberman notwithstanding, CT's a Blue State and AG Richard Blumenthal is still popular despite artificially-enhancing his Marine Corps war record.
Coast: Blumenthal in a walk.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Even More New Entries for the (Politically) Askewed Dictionary
Aspigmatism: The inability to see that wealthy elites are making a sucker out of you. (See 'Tea Party Express.')
Atwatering: Throwing up so many specious charges that your political opponent is forced to spend all of his or her time responding to them, thereby destroying any chance they have for election by leaving the impression in the minds of the impressionable that some of it must be true, even though each charge is found to be false. (See 'Swift Boat Veterans.')
Cantstitutionalism: Inventing parts of the Constitution that, in your imagination, prevent a Democratic president from exercising the same powers you approved of when the office was held by a Republican. (See 'Issa, Darrell.')
Deficitmock: A conservative who only worries about the deficit when Democrats are in control of Congress. (See 'Boehner, John.')
Freedumbery: The notion that attaching the word 'freedom' to any half-baked conservative idea or title, especially when used in the form of 'protecting freedom' by incarcerating innocent people or naming your corporate-funded Washington Astroturf group 'FreedomWorks,' magically confers a patina of true American patriotism on your efforts, rather than exposing you for the greedy fascist sneak you really are. (See 'Armey, Dick.')
Hyde-rophobia: Rabidly denouncing a sitting Democratic president for the same sins committed by senior Republicans in Congress. (See 'Gingrich, Newt.')
In Flagrante Demento: Displaying an embarrassingly excessive number of American flags at your speeches and rallies, as if you needed a visual reminder of what side you're supposed to be on, but aren't. (See 'CPAC Convention.')
Noonanery: Pretending to be an objective and rational political observer while maintaining the late Ronald Reagan could do no wrong, no matter how you have to inflate his record. (See 'Noonan, Peggy.')
Quaylery: Making an egregiously stupid statement – e.g.: "Social Security is welfare" or "Obama is a Muslim born in Kenya" -- and then retracting or denying it when it might hamper your chances of winning an election, only to later repeat it when among a friendly crowd. (See 'Angle, Sharron.')
Teabuggery: Demonstrating your ardent belief in freedom of speech for all Americans by shouting down those who disagree with you. (See 'McCarthyism.')
Xetgeist (pronounced 'Zeet-geist'): The conviction that changing your name will also eliminate your past criminal record. (See 'Blackwater.')
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Atwatering: Throwing up so many specious charges that your political opponent is forced to spend all of his or her time responding to them, thereby destroying any chance they have for election by leaving the impression in the minds of the impressionable that some of it must be true, even though each charge is found to be false. (See 'Swift Boat Veterans.')
Cantstitutionalism: Inventing parts of the Constitution that, in your imagination, prevent a Democratic president from exercising the same powers you approved of when the office was held by a Republican. (See 'Issa, Darrell.')
Deficitmock: A conservative who only worries about the deficit when Democrats are in control of Congress. (See 'Boehner, John.')
Freedumbery: The notion that attaching the word 'freedom' to any half-baked conservative idea or title, especially when used in the form of 'protecting freedom' by incarcerating innocent people or naming your corporate-funded Washington Astroturf group 'FreedomWorks,' magically confers a patina of true American patriotism on your efforts, rather than exposing you for the greedy fascist sneak you really are. (See 'Armey, Dick.')
Hyde-rophobia: Rabidly denouncing a sitting Democratic president for the same sins committed by senior Republicans in Congress. (See 'Gingrich, Newt.')
In Flagrante Demento: Displaying an embarrassingly excessive number of American flags at your speeches and rallies, as if you needed a visual reminder of what side you're supposed to be on, but aren't. (See 'CPAC Convention.')
Noonanery: Pretending to be an objective and rational political observer while maintaining the late Ronald Reagan could do no wrong, no matter how you have to inflate his record. (See 'Noonan, Peggy.')
Quaylery: Making an egregiously stupid statement – e.g.: "Social Security is welfare" or "Obama is a Muslim born in Kenya" -- and then retracting or denying it when it might hamper your chances of winning an election, only to later repeat it when among a friendly crowd. (See 'Angle, Sharron.')
Teabuggery: Demonstrating your ardent belief in freedom of speech for all Americans by shouting down those who disagree with you. (See 'McCarthyism.')
Xetgeist (pronounced 'Zeet-geist'): The conviction that changing your name will also eliminate your past criminal record. (See 'Blackwater.')
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Saturday, October 09, 2010
The Tattlesnake – New Entries for the (Politically) Askewed Dictionary
Almightyosis: The bizarre egomaniacal conviction that the creator of hundreds of billions of galaxies in a universe of vast unknown dimensions personally wants you to run for office and takes time out to tell you so. (See 'O'Donnell, Christine.')
Anglephile: A strange, pathetic creature, usually elderly, who, although dependent on Social Security and Medicare for their well-being, will nevertheless vote for those who would gladly take it away. (See 'Lemmings.')
Diptheoria: Maintaining a comically contradictory opinion on a subject with a straight face, such as bringing peace by starting wars, believing in Republican morality, or balancing the budget by incurring $700 billion more in debt to give tax cuts to yourself and your wealthy friends. (See 'Bush, George W.')
Fecktrescent: Describing an idea so outstandingly stupid it glows like moonlight on a fresh turd. (See 'Palin/Beck 2012.')
Foggle: A combination of Fox News, fearmongering, fog and mind-boggling. To foggle is to use egregious disinformation and unconscionable exaggeration to appeal to the basal ganglia or 'reptilian brain' in lower orders of 'non'-homo sapiens with the goal of swaying by sheer panic and bigotry an individual or group into voting against their own best interests. Usage ex.: "We need more foggle to convince those tea partiers into rallying against health care reform!" (See 'White Citizens Council.')
Journabalism: Reprinting press releases from a corporation, lobbying firm or political party and calling it news. (See 'The Washington Times.')
Kochcrapola (pronounced 'Cokecrapola'): The desire of spineless billionaires to fund far-right Astroturf causes for their own benefit while hiding that information from the public so as not to offend customers of their consumer products, such as Brawny paper towels or Northern bathroom tissue, and thereby lose business. Named after the Koch brothers. (See 'US Chamber of Commerce.')
Murdochism: A mental trick wherein you pretend you aren't aware of what pestilent self-serving propaganda appears in your media outlets on a daily basis while still insisting they are actual news organizations nonetheless. Named after Rupert Murdoch. (See 'Bozell, Brent.')
Odontestry: The appearance of ugly gaping truth as a candidate's false Tweets fall out, reduced as she is to campaigning solely on Twitter since she's terrified of facing any reporter who might dare to ask her a tough question. (See 'Grizzly, Mama.')
Palmystery: Stage magic wherein the performer makes $100K disappear in return for a tepid speech based on hoary, imbecilic talking points written on her hand. The mystery is why anyone would pay for this bum fodder. (See 'Pledge to America.')
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Anglephile: A strange, pathetic creature, usually elderly, who, although dependent on Social Security and Medicare for their well-being, will nevertheless vote for those who would gladly take it away. (See 'Lemmings.')
Diptheoria: Maintaining a comically contradictory opinion on a subject with a straight face, such as bringing peace by starting wars, believing in Republican morality, or balancing the budget by incurring $700 billion more in debt to give tax cuts to yourself and your wealthy friends. (See 'Bush, George W.')
Fecktrescent: Describing an idea so outstandingly stupid it glows like moonlight on a fresh turd. (See 'Palin/Beck 2012.')
Foggle: A combination of Fox News, fearmongering, fog and mind-boggling. To foggle is to use egregious disinformation and unconscionable exaggeration to appeal to the basal ganglia or 'reptilian brain' in lower orders of 'non'-homo sapiens with the goal of swaying by sheer panic and bigotry an individual or group into voting against their own best interests. Usage ex.: "We need more foggle to convince those tea partiers into rallying against health care reform!" (See 'White Citizens Council.')
Journabalism: Reprinting press releases from a corporation, lobbying firm or political party and calling it news. (See 'The Washington Times.')
Kochcrapola (pronounced 'Cokecrapola'): The desire of spineless billionaires to fund far-right Astroturf causes for their own benefit while hiding that information from the public so as not to offend customers of their consumer products, such as Brawny paper towels or Northern bathroom tissue, and thereby lose business. Named after the Koch brothers. (See 'US Chamber of Commerce.')
Murdochism: A mental trick wherein you pretend you aren't aware of what pestilent self-serving propaganda appears in your media outlets on a daily basis while still insisting they are actual news organizations nonetheless. Named after Rupert Murdoch. (See 'Bozell, Brent.')
Odontestry: The appearance of ugly gaping truth as a candidate's false Tweets fall out, reduced as she is to campaigning solely on Twitter since she's terrified of facing any reporter who might dare to ask her a tough question. (See 'Grizzly, Mama.')
Palmystery: Stage magic wherein the performer makes $100K disappear in return for a tepid speech based on hoary, imbecilic talking points written on her hand. The mystery is why anyone would pay for this bum fodder. (See 'Pledge to America.')
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Friday, October 08, 2010
Thursday, October 07, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Unuttered Utterations and Which Witch is Which? Edition
-- Republican Tea Party senatorial candidate Christine O'Donnell, when not busy denying she's a witch, told Fox News she was refraining from national campaigning to focus on the concerns of Delawareans. (That would be the denizens of tiny Delaware, not a race of talking plants in "Star Trek-The Next Generation," although any confusion is completely understandable.) Howsomever, as Rachel Maddow recently exposed, the Anointed Chipmunk has not been doing much campaigning in Joe Biden's home turf, either; no public events scheduled, nor interviewing forays with the local media. Is this evidence that she's given up, facing a 20-point deficit in the polls and broad exposure of her two decades of public nuttiness? Her campaigning seems to be confined solely to running a batty ad where she informs voters up front she's not a member of a coven (she only 'dabbled' in witchcraft, folks), and that she's just like them, when they haven't taken their meds. Aside from the roasting over hot flames any Dem candidate would receive from the rabid right for confessing even a fraction of Christine's abuses of sanity, God Girl's latest revelation that she's been receiving 'classified' information that China is planning some kind of invasion of the US isn't really classified or new. Your Tattlesnake has a couple of pals who were paid to teach English in China, only this was not the standard grammar-and-syntax English most of us think of when the subject comes up. Instead, what they were really hired to teach was street-American patois and the intricacies of our popular culture. (One friend spent a whole class on Elvis Presley, for example.) The Chinese 'invasion' is no secret, either, only it won't be military – as reported by several financial publications, the Chinese are using their abundant hoard of US dollars to buy up large tracts of American land; it seems reasonable, more reasonable than Christine, anyway, that the Communist tyrants in Beijing plan to use that real estate to set up factories to manufacture their cheap junk here, once the US labor laws have been sufficiently weakened by Christine's GOP to allow the kinds of unsafe job conditions and meager salaries Chinese workers endure. (Or maybe they'll just use prisoners, as they mostly do back home.) What the little Non-Witch misses is that a good Christopublican corporation, Walmart, is the chief importer into the US of Chinese-made goods; her Republican Party has been the main driving force behind suspending tariffs and other regulations to prevent foreign nations from having this kind of power within our country; and notorious picked-by-Jesus 'president' Junior Bush borrowed $2 billion a day to pay for his bumbled, illegal war in Iraq and lavish tax cuts for his wealthy family and their rich friends. If ODon weren't already losing large in the polls, it might behoove her opponent to point this out – yet another thudding contradiction that is going to kill the GOP in future elections.
-- Tattlesnake's 'Media Insider' says cool cats and kittens should not be swayed by the 'official' story regarding Rick Sanchez's bouncing from the Corporatist News Network otherwise known as CNN. The reason Jon Stewart's hilarious portrayals of Sanchez as something of a babbling idiot were so devastating is because, well, he's something of a babbling idiot. (As evidenced by his comments about Stewart's alleged 'bigotry' and Jewish ownership of the media.) Word is, CNN has been looking for a reason to dump this ratings-tank boob without having to pay off his contract. Like most Big Media bobbing heads, Sanchez's contract no doubt had a standard clause that said if he did anything egregiously immoral, racist or embarrassing in public that had the potential of bringing scorn upon CNN, such as shaving his public hair on live TV or wearing a hood and announcing his selection as a Grand Imperial Wizard of the KKK, he could be summarily dismissed and his contract immediately cancelled with the balance due unpaid. CNN knew its man – with Rick's fetid history of on-air loopiness, it was only a matter of time until Sanchez crossed the line, and this just happened to be that moment. Of course, Sanchez has now issued the stock Pro Forma Apology to the Universe, (you'll find it between 'Memo, Traditional Format' and 'Resume, Classic Form' at your local Big Box stationery store), and eager looks forward to his "new future of opportunities" somewhere else. That 'somewhere else' will probably be the graveyard shift at Fox Business Channel where Roger Ailes has provided a comfortable if little-watched retirement village for dimbulb dogmatists who have bottomed out elsewhere in MediaLand. Here's to not seeing you again, Rick!
-- Why is it that this morning, an atheist did not see an image of Richard Dawkins in her burnt English Muffin, or Madalyn Murray O'Hair in her Lay's Sour Cream & Onion potato chip? For that matter, Buddhists have not reported visions of Siddhartha in the swirls of their Cream of Wheat, nor have Jews spotted Moses in bowls of chopped chicken liver. For some reason, only Christians, and especially those of the odiferous American variety, seem to have this penchant for apprehending the Christopublican-sanctioned Jeffrey Hunter Jesus in everything from Melba toast to grilled cheese sandwiches. What does that say about the dominant religious delusion in the US? "Whoa -- I see God in my snacks!"
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Another 'Who Said That Quiz' Edition
Drop your pretenses and grab your pencil and paper, here comes a multiple-choice quiz to test your political savvy. (Don't cheat and look at the answers at the bottom.)
Who said the following?
1. "Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration."
a. Karl Marx
b. Franklin D. Roosevelt
c. Barack Obama
d. Abraham Lincoln
2. "Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it."
a. Barry Goldwater
b. Ronald Reagan
c. Benjamin Franklin
4. Winston Churchill
3. "Will you tell those dumbasses at the Tea Party to stop asking questions about birth certificates while I'm on the camera."
a. Karl Rove
b. Bill O'Reilly
c. John Boehner
d. Ken Buck
4. "Don't believe the right-wing ideologues when they tell you the left still controls the media agenda. It does not any longer. It's a fact."
a. Bill O'Reilly
b. Roger Ailes
c. Al Franken
d. Alan Grayson
5. "The thing that attracts people to 'The Sopranos' is the family element. It shows that America still has a longing for that traditional upbringing."
a. Carl Paladino
b. Sharron Angle
c. Glenn Beck
d. Christine O'Donnell
6. "The New York Times is for us what Pravda was for the Soviets."
a. Ronald Reagan
b. Antonin Scalia
c. Gore Vidal
d. Sean Hannity
7. "The Republicans have lost their standards, they've lost their principles. Really, that's why the machine in the Republican Party is fighting against me."
a. Barack Obama
b. Sharron Angle
c. Harry Reid
d. Christine O'Donnell
8. "Counterinsurgency in operation did not live up to the high-minded zeal of the theory. All the talk was of ‘winning the allegiance’ of the people to their government, but a government for which allegiance had to be won by outsiders was not a good gamble."
a. Bob Woodward
b. Gen. Wesley Clark
c. Barbara Tuchman
d. Bernie Sanders
9. "Why don't you write books people can read?"
a. George W. Bush to wife Laura.
b. Sean Hannity to Newt Gingrich.
c. Glenn Beck to Arianna Huffington.
d. Nora Joyce to husband James.
10. "Am I too conservative? They probably said that about Thomas Jefferson and George Washington and Benjamin Franklin."
a. Rush Limbaugh
b. Sharron Angle
c. Jim DeMint
d. Christine O'Donnell
11. "You cannot preach the Bible if you cannot preach God’s hate."
a. Mike Huckabee
b. Pat Robertson
c. Jerry Falwell
d. Fred Phelps
12. "There was no assignment of political points of view when we were making the film … I thought it was really about the onset of a kind of life where the corporate people are trying to tell you how to live, what to do, how to behave. And you become puppets to these merchants that are somehow turning individuals into victims."
a. Michael Moore on "Capitalism: A Love Story".
b. Oliver Stone on "Wall Street".
c. Paul Newman on "Cool Hand Luke".
d. Kevin McCarthy on "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".
Here are the answers:
1. d. Abraham Lincoln, from his First Annual Message to Congress, December 3, 1861.
2. c. Benjamin Franklin.
3. d. Ken Buck, Tea Party Republican candidate for US Senate from Colorado.
4. a. Bill O'Reilly, July 26, 2005.
5. d. Christine O'Donnell on 'Hardball with Chris Matthews,' June 20, 2003.
6. c. Gore Vidal, Observer magazine, August 12, 2001.
7. b. Sharron Angle, from a surreptitiously-recorded tape.
8. c. Barbara Tuchman on our failure in Vietnam.
9. d. Nora Joyce to husband James, author of "Ulysses."
10. b. Sharron Angle again.
11. d. Homophobic, anti-American Baptist Minister Fred Phelps.
12. d. Kevin McCarthy, from his Los Angeles Times obit, by way of Planet Proctor 2010-17. (The actor died Sept. 11, 2010 at the age of 96.)
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Who said the following?
1. "Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration."
a. Karl Marx
b. Franklin D. Roosevelt
c. Barack Obama
d. Abraham Lincoln
2. "Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it."
a. Barry Goldwater
b. Ronald Reagan
c. Benjamin Franklin
4. Winston Churchill
3. "Will you tell those dumbasses at the Tea Party to stop asking questions about birth certificates while I'm on the camera."
a. Karl Rove
b. Bill O'Reilly
c. John Boehner
d. Ken Buck
4. "Don't believe the right-wing ideologues when they tell you the left still controls the media agenda. It does not any longer. It's a fact."
a. Bill O'Reilly
b. Roger Ailes
c. Al Franken
d. Alan Grayson
5. "The thing that attracts people to 'The Sopranos' is the family element. It shows that America still has a longing for that traditional upbringing."
a. Carl Paladino
b. Sharron Angle
c. Glenn Beck
d. Christine O'Donnell
6. "The New York Times is for us what Pravda was for the Soviets."
a. Ronald Reagan
b. Antonin Scalia
c. Gore Vidal
d. Sean Hannity
7. "The Republicans have lost their standards, they've lost their principles. Really, that's why the machine in the Republican Party is fighting against me."
a. Barack Obama
b. Sharron Angle
c. Harry Reid
d. Christine O'Donnell
8. "Counterinsurgency in operation did not live up to the high-minded zeal of the theory. All the talk was of ‘winning the allegiance’ of the people to their government, but a government for which allegiance had to be won by outsiders was not a good gamble."
a. Bob Woodward
b. Gen. Wesley Clark
c. Barbara Tuchman
d. Bernie Sanders
9. "Why don't you write books people can read?"
a. George W. Bush to wife Laura.
b. Sean Hannity to Newt Gingrich.
c. Glenn Beck to Arianna Huffington.
d. Nora Joyce to husband James.
10. "Am I too conservative? They probably said that about Thomas Jefferson and George Washington and Benjamin Franklin."
a. Rush Limbaugh
b. Sharron Angle
c. Jim DeMint
d. Christine O'Donnell
11. "You cannot preach the Bible if you cannot preach God’s hate."
a. Mike Huckabee
b. Pat Robertson
c. Jerry Falwell
d. Fred Phelps
12. "There was no assignment of political points of view when we were making the film … I thought it was really about the onset of a kind of life where the corporate people are trying to tell you how to live, what to do, how to behave. And you become puppets to these merchants that are somehow turning individuals into victims."
a. Michael Moore on "Capitalism: A Love Story".
b. Oliver Stone on "Wall Street".
c. Paul Newman on "Cool Hand Luke".
d. Kevin McCarthy on "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".
Here are the answers:
1. d. Abraham Lincoln, from his First Annual Message to Congress, December 3, 1861.
2. c. Benjamin Franklin.
3. d. Ken Buck, Tea Party Republican candidate for US Senate from Colorado.
4. a. Bill O'Reilly, July 26, 2005.
5. d. Christine O'Donnell on 'Hardball with Chris Matthews,' June 20, 2003.
6. c. Gore Vidal, Observer magazine, August 12, 2001.
7. b. Sharron Angle, from a surreptitiously-recorded tape.
8. c. Barbara Tuchman on our failure in Vietnam.
9. d. Nora Joyce to husband James, author of "Ulysses."
10. b. Sharron Angle again.
11. d. Homophobic, anti-American Baptist Minister Fred Phelps.
12. d. Kevin McCarthy, from his Los Angeles Times obit, by way of Planet Proctor 2010-17. (The actor died Sept. 11, 2010 at the age of 96.)
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Monday, October 04, 2010
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Friday, October 01, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Toast and Coast Edition
"Lie to me once, shame on you; lie to me twice, shame on me for believing you; lie to me three times – hey, you're a Republican!"
-- Yank Bunger, Ph.D
Who's Not Ready For Prime Time and who is in some upcoming races, as determined by a dart throw and a peek into the dank tea leaves at the bottom of the barrel. Those seeking alphabetical order will be struck by its absence.
Burnt Toast: Christine O'Donnell, GOP candidate for US Senate from Delaware.
Along with her Jabberwocky bleatings about witchcraft, satanic picnics, evolution, masturbation, and her other hobbies, the Lawd's Chipmunk Girl has now been found to be brazenly fabricating her educational history. Turns out she didn't attend Oxford, she didn't get a degree from Claremont University, and she falsified her record concerning the time of her graduation from Farleigh Dickinson U. Seems she won't lie to the Nazis to save another human being, but all else is fair game. If this Media Hound had any capacity for embarrassment, she would have dropped out of the race already, but she hasn't, so she won’t – and she's shamelessly blaming it all on God for wanting her to stay in the race.
Amusing Sidenote (sort of): Why don't these Christopublicans like O-Don and Junior Bush ever take the hint? Maybe the Almighty is telling them to run to teach them a lesson in humility (and comedy) they sorely need.
Big Coast: Democrat Chris Coons, who's no doubt up by a bazillion points in the polls by now, or will be by election day.
Toast:Carl Paladino, GOP candidate for Governor of New York
Scraping up the dregs of the Tea Party teapot, we find Mr. Kiss-My-Ring Carlo, a true Republican family values man who loves family values so much he extended them to a woman to whom he wasn't married who then had a child a decade ago. Papa P. (for 'Pot') is now accusing his opponent, Andrew Cuomo, of conducting extramarital affairs without the wimpy liberal niceties of evidence. Oh, and he's been physically threatening reporters, too, for asking him to prove his wild charges. Already popular among his friends for sending them emails featuring racist images and bestiality porn, Paladino will no doubt nail down the vote of blacks, women and equestrians, but will the men support him?
Amusing Factoid: Carl says he enjoys being nasty. No shit, Carl?
Coast: Landslide thy name is Cuomo.
Toast: Meg Whitman, GOP candidate for Governor of California
In a state that's already burned out on Republicans, the revelations Thursday that Megma lied when she said she received no notification from Social Security warning her that her former maid's SS number was false pours the last coat of KY Jelly on the wealthy ex-eBay CEO's long greased slide.
Amusing Factoid: Meg's husband's name is Griff Harsh. No wonder she doesn't use her married name in her political campaign – it's too appropriate.
Coast: Jerry Brown, once and future Dem Gov.
Toast: Carly Fiorina, GOP candidate for US Senate from California.
With C.F.'s debate performances less than stirring, all sitting Dem Sen. Barbara Boxer has to do is keep reminding voters that multi-millionaire Carly, as CEO of Hewlett-Packard, cut 35,000 American jobs and sent them overseas. And leave us not forget her atrociously incompetent record in that position – so bad the H-P board bought out her contract and told her to take a walk.
Amusing Sidenote: You can bet at least one La-La-Lander will vote for Carly because they think she wrote and sang the song, "You're So Vain."
Coast: Welcome back, Babs, the Senate needs more like you.
Toast: Rand Paul, GOP candidate for US Senate from Kentucky.
Paul has bounced around on his positions so much he could be a tennis ball. Starting off as a staunch antiwar, pro-drug decriminalization Libertarian, he's morphed into a desperate, soft-shoe racist, bug-eyed-nuts Teabagger with hidden GOP establishment trimmings. It's what happens when you nominate an oafish country-club drunk whose Bircher-bitter political opinions are filtered through a martini shaker. His campaign, to his detriment, has been more Rand and less Paul, as in his father Ron.
Amusing Factoid: Dr. Paul is 'board certified' by a medical board that he apparently invented and that features his wife as one of its members. He also earns half his keep from Medicare patients, yet wants to get rid of social programs like Medicare – after he's safely ensconced in the Washington millionaires club that is the GOP side of the Senate, of course.
Coast: It may be a squeaker, but KY AG Jack Conway will pull it out.
Toast: Sharron Angle, GOP Candidate for US Senate from Nevada.
After all of her anti-government fulminations against any social program that might help poor or middle-class folks keep their heads above water, Sharron with the two 'RRs' (for Raving Right?) has taken routine Republican hypocrisy to a new and higher angle by living off her husband's government pension and taking advantage of his sumptuous government-paid health care benefits. She's another demented ignorant Teabagger who doesn't know what the hell she's talking about on any subject and just makes things up to suit the moment. Fortunately, Nevadans have gradually become aware of this fact and Harry Reid is now leading by five points in the polls.
Amusing Factoid: How crazy do you have to be to go from thirty points ahead to five points behind to a guy who is disliked by 75 percent of the voters in your state? Sharron has blazed the trail for future Tea Party candidates in this regard.
Coast: The unlikable lamebrain Sen. Reid will prevail, maybe by as much as ten points in the vote.
Toast: Rahm Emanuel's run for Mayor of Chicago
Although the too-tight Beltway Cocktail Party Media may not realize it, the charming (koff, koff) ferret-faced DLC hatchet man and soon-to-be-former Obama Chief of Staff is not roundly loved in most sections of the Windy City. In fact, one might say he is deeply loathed far and wide, except by a few leftovers of the old Daddy Daley Machine from whence this corporate-money monster grew. Following his flat-on-his-face failure for Obama, and Hizzoner's son Richie Daley's steep fall from grace as mayor, who would want Rahm to perform Richard the III by the lake? (The only part he's really capable of playing.) Nope, he's toast straight out of the gate.
Amusing Factoid: Rahm is not and never has been a liberal, progressive nor even much of a Democrat. He's more of a 'Fuck You' Republicant who was a DINO because Republicans don't get elected in Chicago.
Coast: Anyone not named 'Rahm Emanuel.'
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
-- Yank Bunger, Ph.D
Who's Not Ready For Prime Time and who is in some upcoming races, as determined by a dart throw and a peek into the dank tea leaves at the bottom of the barrel. Those seeking alphabetical order will be struck by its absence.
Burnt Toast: Christine O'Donnell, GOP candidate for US Senate from Delaware.
Along with her Jabberwocky bleatings about witchcraft, satanic picnics, evolution, masturbation, and her other hobbies, the Lawd's Chipmunk Girl has now been found to be brazenly fabricating her educational history. Turns out she didn't attend Oxford, she didn't get a degree from Claremont University, and she falsified her record concerning the time of her graduation from Farleigh Dickinson U. Seems she won't lie to the Nazis to save another human being, but all else is fair game. If this Media Hound had any capacity for embarrassment, she would have dropped out of the race already, but she hasn't, so she won’t – and she's shamelessly blaming it all on God for wanting her to stay in the race.
Amusing Sidenote (sort of): Why don't these Christopublicans like O-Don and Junior Bush ever take the hint? Maybe the Almighty is telling them to run to teach them a lesson in humility (and comedy) they sorely need.
Big Coast: Democrat Chris Coons, who's no doubt up by a bazillion points in the polls by now, or will be by election day.
Toast:Carl Paladino, GOP candidate for Governor of New York
Scraping up the dregs of the Tea Party teapot, we find Mr. Kiss-My-Ring Carlo, a true Republican family values man who loves family values so much he extended them to a woman to whom he wasn't married who then had a child a decade ago. Papa P. (for 'Pot') is now accusing his opponent, Andrew Cuomo, of conducting extramarital affairs without the wimpy liberal niceties of evidence. Oh, and he's been physically threatening reporters, too, for asking him to prove his wild charges. Already popular among his friends for sending them emails featuring racist images and bestiality porn, Paladino will no doubt nail down the vote of blacks, women and equestrians, but will the men support him?
Amusing Factoid: Carl says he enjoys being nasty. No shit, Carl?
Coast: Landslide thy name is Cuomo.
Toast: Meg Whitman, GOP candidate for Governor of California
In a state that's already burned out on Republicans, the revelations Thursday that Megma lied when she said she received no notification from Social Security warning her that her former maid's SS number was false pours the last coat of KY Jelly on the wealthy ex-eBay CEO's long greased slide.
Amusing Factoid: Meg's husband's name is Griff Harsh. No wonder she doesn't use her married name in her political campaign – it's too appropriate.
Coast: Jerry Brown, once and future Dem Gov.
Toast: Carly Fiorina, GOP candidate for US Senate from California.
With C.F.'s debate performances less than stirring, all sitting Dem Sen. Barbara Boxer has to do is keep reminding voters that multi-millionaire Carly, as CEO of Hewlett-Packard, cut 35,000 American jobs and sent them overseas. And leave us not forget her atrociously incompetent record in that position – so bad the H-P board bought out her contract and told her to take a walk.
Amusing Sidenote: You can bet at least one La-La-Lander will vote for Carly because they think she wrote and sang the song, "You're So Vain."
Coast: Welcome back, Babs, the Senate needs more like you.
Toast: Rand Paul, GOP candidate for US Senate from Kentucky.
Paul has bounced around on his positions so much he could be a tennis ball. Starting off as a staunch antiwar, pro-drug decriminalization Libertarian, he's morphed into a desperate, soft-shoe racist, bug-eyed-nuts Teabagger with hidden GOP establishment trimmings. It's what happens when you nominate an oafish country-club drunk whose Bircher-bitter political opinions are filtered through a martini shaker. His campaign, to his detriment, has been more Rand and less Paul, as in his father Ron.
Amusing Factoid: Dr. Paul is 'board certified' by a medical board that he apparently invented and that features his wife as one of its members. He also earns half his keep from Medicare patients, yet wants to get rid of social programs like Medicare – after he's safely ensconced in the Washington millionaires club that is the GOP side of the Senate, of course.
Coast: It may be a squeaker, but KY AG Jack Conway will pull it out.
Toast: Sharron Angle, GOP Candidate for US Senate from Nevada.
After all of her anti-government fulminations against any social program that might help poor or middle-class folks keep their heads above water, Sharron with the two 'RRs' (for Raving Right?) has taken routine Republican hypocrisy to a new and higher angle by living off her husband's government pension and taking advantage of his sumptuous government-paid health care benefits. She's another demented ignorant Teabagger who doesn't know what the hell she's talking about on any subject and just makes things up to suit the moment. Fortunately, Nevadans have gradually become aware of this fact and Harry Reid is now leading by five points in the polls.
Amusing Factoid: How crazy do you have to be to go from thirty points ahead to five points behind to a guy who is disliked by 75 percent of the voters in your state? Sharron has blazed the trail for future Tea Party candidates in this regard.
Coast: The unlikable lamebrain Sen. Reid will prevail, maybe by as much as ten points in the vote.
Toast: Rahm Emanuel's run for Mayor of Chicago
Although the too-tight Beltway Cocktail Party Media may not realize it, the charming (koff, koff) ferret-faced DLC hatchet man and soon-to-be-former Obama Chief of Staff is not roundly loved in most sections of the Windy City. In fact, one might say he is deeply loathed far and wide, except by a few leftovers of the old Daddy Daley Machine from whence this corporate-money monster grew. Following his flat-on-his-face failure for Obama, and Hizzoner's son Richie Daley's steep fall from grace as mayor, who would want Rahm to perform Richard the III by the lake? (The only part he's really capable of playing.) Nope, he's toast straight out of the gate.
Amusing Factoid: Rahm is not and never has been a liberal, progressive nor even much of a Democrat. He's more of a 'Fuck You' Republicant who was a DINO because Republicans don't get elected in Chicago.
Coast: Anyone not named 'Rahm Emanuel.'
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Serious As A Fake Heart Attack Edition
"I recognize you – you're the guy from the ads for the heart attack drug on TV."
"Ha, ha – yeah, that's me."
"Congratulations on recovering so well from your heart attack."
"Well, actually, I never had any heart attacks, thank God. I'm just an actor playing the role of a man who had a massive heart attack and recovers taking that drug. I can't tell you if the drug works or not."
"Ask your doctor if this drug is right for you, huh?"
"Ha, ha, that's right."
"Does that bother you? I mean that some people watching that might think you're a real heart attack victim?"
"Well, I thought there'd be some disclaimer on the ad, letting the viewer know we were actors – that's the way they used to do it. Then I saw the ad on TV and realized there was no disclaimer – that kind of bothered me, but it was too late to do anything about it."
"How do they get away with it?"
"Some new law says they don't have to tell the audience they use actors anymore."
"Those ads are on all the time – you must be doing pretty well from them."
"Oh, yeah, the residuals pay very well, but my career in TV and movies is over."
"Really, why?"
"Because when people see me they think, 'Isn't that the guy from the ads for the heart attack drug on TV?' and, anyway, I've got a rider on my contract that prohibits me from working on any other TV shows for a year after they stop running the those commercials, to preserve the credibility of the spots."
"That's tough."
"I'm not complaining. I was going to retire anyway. And there's always dinner theater, ha, ha."
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
"Ha, ha – yeah, that's me."
"Congratulations on recovering so well from your heart attack."
"Well, actually, I never had any heart attacks, thank God. I'm just an actor playing the role of a man who had a massive heart attack and recovers taking that drug. I can't tell you if the drug works or not."
"Ask your doctor if this drug is right for you, huh?"
"Ha, ha, that's right."
"Does that bother you? I mean that some people watching that might think you're a real heart attack victim?"
"Well, I thought there'd be some disclaimer on the ad, letting the viewer know we were actors – that's the way they used to do it. Then I saw the ad on TV and realized there was no disclaimer – that kind of bothered me, but it was too late to do anything about it."
"How do they get away with it?"
"Some new law says they don't have to tell the audience they use actors anymore."
"Those ads are on all the time – you must be doing pretty well from them."
"Oh, yeah, the residuals pay very well, but my career in TV and movies is over."
"Really, why?"
"Because when people see me they think, 'Isn't that the guy from the ads for the heart attack drug on TV?' and, anyway, I've got a rider on my contract that prohibits me from working on any other TV shows for a year after they stop running the those commercials, to preserve the credibility of the spots."
"That's tough."
"I'm not complaining. I was going to retire anyway. And there's always dinner theater, ha, ha."
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
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