Left click on image to enlarge.Monday, October 04, 2010
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Friday, October 01, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Toast and Coast Edition
"Lie to me once, shame on you; lie to me twice, shame on me for believing you; lie to me three times – hey, you're a Republican!"
-- Yank Bunger, Ph.D
Who's Not Ready For Prime Time and who is in some upcoming races, as determined by a dart throw and a peek into the dank tea leaves at the bottom of the barrel. Those seeking alphabetical order will be struck by its absence.
Burnt Toast: Christine O'Donnell, GOP candidate for US Senate from Delaware.
Along with her Jabberwocky bleatings about witchcraft, satanic picnics, evolution, masturbation, and her other hobbies, the Lawd's Chipmunk Girl has now been found to be brazenly fabricating her educational history. Turns out she didn't attend Oxford, she didn't get a degree from Claremont University, and she falsified her record concerning the time of her graduation from Farleigh Dickinson U. Seems she won't lie to the Nazis to save another human being, but all else is fair game. If this Media Hound had any capacity for embarrassment, she would have dropped out of the race already, but she hasn't, so she won’t – and she's shamelessly blaming it all on God for wanting her to stay in the race.
Amusing Sidenote (sort of): Why don't these Christopublicans like O-Don and Junior Bush ever take the hint? Maybe the Almighty is telling them to run to teach them a lesson in humility (and comedy) they sorely need.
Big Coast: Democrat Chris Coons, who's no doubt up by a bazillion points in the polls by now, or will be by election day.
Toast:Carl Paladino, GOP candidate for Governor of New York
Scraping up the dregs of the Tea Party teapot, we find Mr. Kiss-My-Ring Carlo, a true Republican family values man who loves family values so much he extended them to a woman to whom he wasn't married who then had a child a decade ago. Papa P. (for 'Pot') is now accusing his opponent, Andrew Cuomo, of conducting extramarital affairs without the wimpy liberal niceties of evidence. Oh, and he's been physically threatening reporters, too, for asking him to prove his wild charges. Already popular among his friends for sending them emails featuring racist images and bestiality porn, Paladino will no doubt nail down the vote of blacks, women and equestrians, but will the men support him?
Amusing Factoid: Carl says he enjoys being nasty. No shit, Carl?
Coast: Landslide thy name is Cuomo.
Toast: Meg Whitman, GOP candidate for Governor of California
In a state that's already burned out on Republicans, the revelations Thursday that Megma lied when she said she received no notification from Social Security warning her that her former maid's SS number was false pours the last coat of KY Jelly on the wealthy ex-eBay CEO's long greased slide.
Amusing Factoid: Meg's husband's name is Griff Harsh. No wonder she doesn't use her married name in her political campaign – it's too appropriate.
Coast: Jerry Brown, once and future Dem Gov.
Toast: Carly Fiorina, GOP candidate for US Senate from California.
With C.F.'s debate performances less than stirring, all sitting Dem Sen. Barbara Boxer has to do is keep reminding voters that multi-millionaire Carly, as CEO of Hewlett-Packard, cut 35,000 American jobs and sent them overseas. And leave us not forget her atrociously incompetent record in that position – so bad the H-P board bought out her contract and told her to take a walk.
Amusing Sidenote: You can bet at least one La-La-Lander will vote for Carly because they think she wrote and sang the song, "You're So Vain."
Coast: Welcome back, Babs, the Senate needs more like you.
Toast: Rand Paul, GOP candidate for US Senate from Kentucky.
Paul has bounced around on his positions so much he could be a tennis ball. Starting off as a staunch antiwar, pro-drug decriminalization Libertarian, he's morphed into a desperate, soft-shoe racist, bug-eyed-nuts Teabagger with hidden GOP establishment trimmings. It's what happens when you nominate an oafish country-club drunk whose Bircher-bitter political opinions are filtered through a martini shaker. His campaign, to his detriment, has been more Rand and less Paul, as in his father Ron.
Amusing Factoid: Dr. Paul is 'board certified' by a medical board that he apparently invented and that features his wife as one of its members. He also earns half his keep from Medicare patients, yet wants to get rid of social programs like Medicare – after he's safely ensconced in the Washington millionaires club that is the GOP side of the Senate, of course.
Coast: It may be a squeaker, but KY AG Jack Conway will pull it out.
Toast: Sharron Angle, GOP Candidate for US Senate from Nevada.
After all of her anti-government fulminations against any social program that might help poor or middle-class folks keep their heads above water, Sharron with the two 'RRs' (for Raving Right?) has taken routine Republican hypocrisy to a new and higher angle by living off her husband's government pension and taking advantage of his sumptuous government-paid health care benefits. She's another demented ignorant Teabagger who doesn't know what the hell she's talking about on any subject and just makes things up to suit the moment. Fortunately, Nevadans have gradually become aware of this fact and Harry Reid is now leading by five points in the polls.
Amusing Factoid: How crazy do you have to be to go from thirty points ahead to five points behind to a guy who is disliked by 75 percent of the voters in your state? Sharron has blazed the trail for future Tea Party candidates in this regard.
Coast: The unlikable lamebrain Sen. Reid will prevail, maybe by as much as ten points in the vote.
Toast: Rahm Emanuel's run for Mayor of Chicago
Although the too-tight Beltway Cocktail Party Media may not realize it, the charming (koff, koff) ferret-faced DLC hatchet man and soon-to-be-former Obama Chief of Staff is not roundly loved in most sections of the Windy City. In fact, one might say he is deeply loathed far and wide, except by a few leftovers of the old Daddy Daley Machine from whence this corporate-money monster grew. Following his flat-on-his-face failure for Obama, and Hizzoner's son Richie Daley's steep fall from grace as mayor, who would want Rahm to perform Richard the III by the lake? (The only part he's really capable of playing.) Nope, he's toast straight out of the gate.
Amusing Factoid: Rahm is not and never has been a liberal, progressive nor even much of a Democrat. He's more of a 'Fuck You' Republicant who was a DINO because Republicans don't get elected in Chicago.
Coast: Anyone not named 'Rahm Emanuel.'
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
-- Yank Bunger, Ph.D
Who's Not Ready For Prime Time and who is in some upcoming races, as determined by a dart throw and a peek into the dank tea leaves at the bottom of the barrel. Those seeking alphabetical order will be struck by its absence.
Burnt Toast: Christine O'Donnell, GOP candidate for US Senate from Delaware.
Along with her Jabberwocky bleatings about witchcraft, satanic picnics, evolution, masturbation, and her other hobbies, the Lawd's Chipmunk Girl has now been found to be brazenly fabricating her educational history. Turns out she didn't attend Oxford, she didn't get a degree from Claremont University, and she falsified her record concerning the time of her graduation from Farleigh Dickinson U. Seems she won't lie to the Nazis to save another human being, but all else is fair game. If this Media Hound had any capacity for embarrassment, she would have dropped out of the race already, but she hasn't, so she won’t – and she's shamelessly blaming it all on God for wanting her to stay in the race.
Amusing Sidenote (sort of): Why don't these Christopublicans like O-Don and Junior Bush ever take the hint? Maybe the Almighty is telling them to run to teach them a lesson in humility (and comedy) they sorely need.
Big Coast: Democrat Chris Coons, who's no doubt up by a bazillion points in the polls by now, or will be by election day.
Toast:Carl Paladino, GOP candidate for Governor of New York
Scraping up the dregs of the Tea Party teapot, we find Mr. Kiss-My-Ring Carlo, a true Republican family values man who loves family values so much he extended them to a woman to whom he wasn't married who then had a child a decade ago. Papa P. (for 'Pot') is now accusing his opponent, Andrew Cuomo, of conducting extramarital affairs without the wimpy liberal niceties of evidence. Oh, and he's been physically threatening reporters, too, for asking him to prove his wild charges. Already popular among his friends for sending them emails featuring racist images and bestiality porn, Paladino will no doubt nail down the vote of blacks, women and equestrians, but will the men support him?
Amusing Factoid: Carl says he enjoys being nasty. No shit, Carl?
Coast: Landslide thy name is Cuomo.
Toast: Meg Whitman, GOP candidate for Governor of California
In a state that's already burned out on Republicans, the revelations Thursday that Megma lied when she said she received no notification from Social Security warning her that her former maid's SS number was false pours the last coat of KY Jelly on the wealthy ex-eBay CEO's long greased slide.
Amusing Factoid: Meg's husband's name is Griff Harsh. No wonder she doesn't use her married name in her political campaign – it's too appropriate.
Coast: Jerry Brown, once and future Dem Gov.
Toast: Carly Fiorina, GOP candidate for US Senate from California.
With C.F.'s debate performances less than stirring, all sitting Dem Sen. Barbara Boxer has to do is keep reminding voters that multi-millionaire Carly, as CEO of Hewlett-Packard, cut 35,000 American jobs and sent them overseas. And leave us not forget her atrociously incompetent record in that position – so bad the H-P board bought out her contract and told her to take a walk.
Amusing Sidenote: You can bet at least one La-La-Lander will vote for Carly because they think she wrote and sang the song, "You're So Vain."
Coast: Welcome back, Babs, the Senate needs more like you.
Toast: Rand Paul, GOP candidate for US Senate from Kentucky.
Paul has bounced around on his positions so much he could be a tennis ball. Starting off as a staunch antiwar, pro-drug decriminalization Libertarian, he's morphed into a desperate, soft-shoe racist, bug-eyed-nuts Teabagger with hidden GOP establishment trimmings. It's what happens when you nominate an oafish country-club drunk whose Bircher-bitter political opinions are filtered through a martini shaker. His campaign, to his detriment, has been more Rand and less Paul, as in his father Ron.
Amusing Factoid: Dr. Paul is 'board certified' by a medical board that he apparently invented and that features his wife as one of its members. He also earns half his keep from Medicare patients, yet wants to get rid of social programs like Medicare – after he's safely ensconced in the Washington millionaires club that is the GOP side of the Senate, of course.
Coast: It may be a squeaker, but KY AG Jack Conway will pull it out.
Toast: Sharron Angle, GOP Candidate for US Senate from Nevada.
After all of her anti-government fulminations against any social program that might help poor or middle-class folks keep their heads above water, Sharron with the two 'RRs' (for Raving Right?) has taken routine Republican hypocrisy to a new and higher angle by living off her husband's government pension and taking advantage of his sumptuous government-paid health care benefits. She's another demented ignorant Teabagger who doesn't know what the hell she's talking about on any subject and just makes things up to suit the moment. Fortunately, Nevadans have gradually become aware of this fact and Harry Reid is now leading by five points in the polls.
Amusing Factoid: How crazy do you have to be to go from thirty points ahead to five points behind to a guy who is disliked by 75 percent of the voters in your state? Sharron has blazed the trail for future Tea Party candidates in this regard.
Coast: The unlikable lamebrain Sen. Reid will prevail, maybe by as much as ten points in the vote.
Toast: Rahm Emanuel's run for Mayor of Chicago
Although the too-tight Beltway Cocktail Party Media may not realize it, the charming (koff, koff) ferret-faced DLC hatchet man and soon-to-be-former Obama Chief of Staff is not roundly loved in most sections of the Windy City. In fact, one might say he is deeply loathed far and wide, except by a few leftovers of the old Daddy Daley Machine from whence this corporate-money monster grew. Following his flat-on-his-face failure for Obama, and Hizzoner's son Richie Daley's steep fall from grace as mayor, who would want Rahm to perform Richard the III by the lake? (The only part he's really capable of playing.) Nope, he's toast straight out of the gate.
Amusing Factoid: Rahm is not and never has been a liberal, progressive nor even much of a Democrat. He's more of a 'Fuck You' Republicant who was a DINO because Republicans don't get elected in Chicago.
Coast: Anyone not named 'Rahm Emanuel.'
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
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Thursday, September 23, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
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Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Tattlesnake – Serious As A Fake Heart Attack Edition
"I recognize you – you're the guy from the ads for the heart attack drug on TV."
"Ha, ha – yeah, that's me."
"Congratulations on recovering so well from your heart attack."
"Well, actually, I never had any heart attacks, thank God. I'm just an actor playing the role of a man who had a massive heart attack and recovers taking that drug. I can't tell you if the drug works or not."
"Ask your doctor if this drug is right for you, huh?"
"Ha, ha, that's right."
"Does that bother you? I mean that some people watching that might think you're a real heart attack victim?"
"Well, I thought there'd be some disclaimer on the ad, letting the viewer know we were actors – that's the way they used to do it. Then I saw the ad on TV and realized there was no disclaimer – that kind of bothered me, but it was too late to do anything about it."
"How do they get away with it?"
"Some new law says they don't have to tell the audience they use actors anymore."
"Those ads are on all the time – you must be doing pretty well from them."
"Oh, yeah, the residuals pay very well, but my career in TV and movies is over."
"Really, why?"
"Because when people see me they think, 'Isn't that the guy from the ads for the heart attack drug on TV?' and, anyway, I've got a rider on my contract that prohibits me from working on any other TV shows for a year after they stop running the those commercials, to preserve the credibility of the spots."
"That's tough."
"I'm not complaining. I was going to retire anyway. And there's always dinner theater, ha, ha."
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
"Ha, ha – yeah, that's me."
"Congratulations on recovering so well from your heart attack."
"Well, actually, I never had any heart attacks, thank God. I'm just an actor playing the role of a man who had a massive heart attack and recovers taking that drug. I can't tell you if the drug works or not."
"Ask your doctor if this drug is right for you, huh?"
"Ha, ha, that's right."
"Does that bother you? I mean that some people watching that might think you're a real heart attack victim?"
"Well, I thought there'd be some disclaimer on the ad, letting the viewer know we were actors – that's the way they used to do it. Then I saw the ad on TV and realized there was no disclaimer – that kind of bothered me, but it was too late to do anything about it."
"How do they get away with it?"
"Some new law says they don't have to tell the audience they use actors anymore."
"Those ads are on all the time – you must be doing pretty well from them."
"Oh, yeah, the residuals pay very well, but my career in TV and movies is over."
"Really, why?"
"Because when people see me they think, 'Isn't that the guy from the ads for the heart attack drug on TV?' and, anyway, I've got a rider on my contract that prohibits me from working on any other TV shows for a year after they stop running the those commercials, to preserve the credibility of the spots."
"That's tough."
"I'm not complaining. I was going to retire anyway. And there's always dinner theater, ha, ha."
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 09, 2010
The Conservapedia Delusion of Andrew Schafly
As Stephen Colbert remarked during a speech at the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner at which a visibly uncomfortable 'President' Junior Bush was on the dais, "Reality has a well-known liberal bias."
To counter that perceived 'bias' at Wikipedia, Eagle Forum nutcase Phyllis Schafly's kid, Andrew, mounted a dimwitted Christopublican-Free Market-Literal Bible site in 2006 to spread the neoconservative message with bile-laced faith-based delusion, the same delusion that's damn near destroyed the country, and may succeed in tearing it apart yet. But, hilariously enough, even the Bible as it's written is not conservative enough for raggedy Andy – he actually launched a 'Conservative Bible Project' to rewrite those portions he considers too 'liberal.' (One would guess that would be any passage expressing kindness for the homeless and poor, berating the rich and telling them to give their possessions away, or asking the reader to forgive one's enemies and renounce the judging of others.)
Here, Bob Carroll of the Skeptic's Dictionary drags the little Liar-For-Jesus and his buncombe-packed 'encyclopedia' over the glowing hot coals of rationality:
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
To counter that perceived 'bias' at Wikipedia, Eagle Forum nutcase Phyllis Schafly's kid, Andrew, mounted a dimwitted Christopublican-Free Market-Literal Bible site in 2006 to spread the neoconservative message with bile-laced faith-based delusion, the same delusion that's damn near destroyed the country, and may succeed in tearing it apart yet. But, hilariously enough, even the Bible as it's written is not conservative enough for raggedy Andy – he actually launched a 'Conservative Bible Project' to rewrite those portions he considers too 'liberal.' (One would guess that would be any passage expressing kindness for the homeless and poor, berating the rich and telling them to give their possessions away, or asking the reader to forgive one's enemies and renounce the judging of others.)
Here, Bob Carroll of the Skeptic's Dictionary drags the little Liar-For-Jesus and his buncombe-packed 'encyclopedia' over the glowing hot coals of rationality:
The Conservapedia DelusionWhile I'm not necessarily an atheist – deeply cynical agnostic is more like it -- and tend to agree with J.B.S. Haldane's quote: "Now, my suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.… I suspect that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of, in any philosophy," I admire Bob Carroll and his Skeptic's Dictionary for attempting to bring some needed rational and scientific enlightenment to a country that's drowning in revisionist history, goofball religious gullibility, and pure idiotic tripe.
By Bob Carroll
The Skeptic's Dictionary Newsletter (Skepdic)
Vol. 9 No. 9
September 3, 2010
The group of Christian conservatives (led by Andrew Schafly) who run Conservapedia call their confabulations and rewriting of history, biology, and everything else under the sun, an alternative to "liberal" Wikipedia. Worse, they call their own set of fairy tales "the trustworthy encyclopedia." They swear to it on a stack of Bibles so it must be true. Their delusions are matched only by the paranormal evangelicals at Skeptical Investigations.
The Conservapedia folks have an entry for "Skepdic," where they chide me for not listing global warming and evolution as "junk science." To these puerile jabberwocks, vorpal swords in hand, theology is the queen of the sciences. Under the "contents" heading for their Skepdic entry, they note: "The website also contains articles attacking Biblical history such as Noah's Ark." The story of Noah is literal history to these choir boys.
I'm referred to as a "militant" atheist, whatever that is. If you click on "atheist" you find these neo-con confabulators writing: "Unlike Christianity, which is supported by a large body of sound evidence, atheism has no proof and evidence supporting its ideology." A man could crack a few ribs with falling-down laughter at the claims these clowns make. By proof and evidence I suppose they mean faith. They get very nasty--nasty as only an idiotologist can get. The nicest thing they say about atheism is that it is an ideology. It isn't an ideology, by any definition, but correct usage of terms is as irrelevant as getting the facts straight to these theocrats. The rest of their diatribe against atheism qualifies them for the Phil Plait certifiable-dick-of-the-year-award.
Dumbest Website Ever
It would be impossible to identify the dumbest website ever, but in addition to Conservapedia I would put Saberpoint in the top ten. Saberpoint's motto is "riding roughshod over the asinine and idiotic" while "supporting the conservative cause and the tea party movement."
© 2010 Bob Carroll.
© 2010 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
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