Left click on image to embiggen.Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Tattlesnake – Why the GOP Hates ACORN and the Poor Edition
Remember those ACORN-office videos that a right-wing ringer named James O'Keefe, posing as a pimp, surreptitiously taped with Hannah Giles, a young woman pretending to be his prostitute, that were a media kerfluffle a few months back?Watching them gave me a familiar feeling – it was the same feeling I had back in 2003 when glowering TV Doctor Colin Powell, performing at the U.N. Club in New York, shook a vial of white powder in front of the camera and claimed it was Saddam's Very Own Anthrax. The feeling only increased when 'Dr.' Powell produced artist's renderings of super-secret Iraqi chemical-labs-on-wheels, views that we apparently couldn't catch photographically from sophisticated spy satellites or aerial reconnaisance overflights because – well, he never actually said why.
This feeling, as close as I can come to describing it, is akin to doing Houdini's Chinese Water Torture trick, wherein the master magician was suspended upside-down in a glass-paneled cabinet filled to the top with water -- only instead of water, imagine horse manure.
The Tattler was wincing with disgust while laughing as I watched geeky white boy O'Keefe, dressed for all the world like Sonny Bono when he had Cher, babe, trying to pass himself off as Mr. Bad Ass Pimp to a collection of black women from the 'Hood who had doubtless seen the real thing at sometime in their lives – it was like casting Wally Cox as Don Vito Corleone: "Gee whillikers, we'll make 'em an offer they won't get mad at and refuse!"
Hannah didn’t play her role much better – she was dumb enough, but a little too clean and preppy – but hers wasn't the important role.
The college-educated ofay voice of O'Keefe, in the same tone as a census-taker, earnestly asking for help to avoid paying his pimp taxes and advice in running a brothel with underage girls rightfully had the ACORN women stifling grins. This was a surreal spectacle that only a teabagger could swallow whole without gagging on the absurdity.
Well, a teabagger, our vacuous illiberal media, and the growing crop of space cadets in our Congress.
It was expected that the GOP would indulge in their usual over-popped level of fake moral outrage – they paid for the video, after all -- and the pundits live off their crumbs, but couldn't we have had at least one Democrat call 'bullshit' on this silly nonsense? No one but a halfwit would believe this skinny white boy wearing his mother's old chinchilla coat is actually a pimp, and anybody who's been around a city block more than once knows it. But the risible sight of O'Keefe in his cartoon pimp outfit is instructive, both as to the contempt with which the corporate Republican elite hold the public, and to their knee-shaking fear of the extension of democracy and equality to people without money.
The Republican Party's fringe-right wingnuts, excuse me for repeating myself, have long had a bitter grudge against ACORN, the community service group that registers voters and helps poor people. Why? Because, to put it simply, the GOP hates the poor, even though they work diligently to produce more of them to reward their corporate backers with a large pool of ever-cheaper labor. This is filtered through several levels of the corporate Republican psyche:
Level One: They hate them, naturally, because they've been incredibly effective at registering low- and no-income voters who tend to vote for Democrats. I've seen ACORN in action on several occasions and, contrary to right-wing myth, never once saw an ACORN representative tell anyone what candidate or party to vote for but, since they operate in neighborhoods where Bill Kristol wouldn't go for a nightcap with friends, even Mommie Dearest from Wasilla could figure out how the new register is going to cast his or her ballot once in the polling place.
Level Two: ACORN shows people how to claim their rights and there's nothing a Republican hates more than some sepia-shaded minority or poverty-stricken white demanding their damn rights. Rights, in their opinion, are for the landed gentry, preferably those with at least two 'lands': main residence with a circular driveway and spacious vacation home. These modern Scalia Federalists know that the only right an indigent person deserves is the right to clean their house, cook their food, raise their kids, or trim their lawn at whatever wage and under whatever conditions the employer determines is fair, without interference by meddling Big Government, or ACORN, trying to insure the menials have 'rights.'
Level Three: This taps into the deep panic of every Republican that one day they, too, could be out on the street, flat broke and without a relative or sugar daddy to help them, selling StreetWise or begging change with a foam coffee cup. In a sensible person, this would lead to support for social safety net programs and the like, in case they ever happened to hit rock bottom; in the bizarre psychological landscape of the wingnut, this becomes a vicious loathing of poor people, perhaps as an easy self-justification for their hatred: 'They're poor because they deserve to be poor.' For all of their neverending blather about hard work and pulling up bootstraps, some of the more intelligent wingnuts, deep in their dark little hearts, know very well life is largely a crap shoot; a gamble that starts with the accident of who you are born to, and continues with lucky breaks and class advantages all along the way. They are well aware that most of American life is not a meritocracy where your fate is cast by your talent or intellect – the aforementioned Kristol lad and George 'Junior' Bush being two prime examples – and that success is usually rigged in favor of those with the proper family connections or the ability to suck up in a manner that would embarrass the average swamp leech. One of the major reasons the official Washington GOPocracy so despises Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama has to do with their personal histories – they came from humble beginnings and actually used their talent and intelligence to prevail in a game that's supposed to be the sport of the privileged and well-born. And, of course, they were all helped into the Big Show by ACORN-registered voters.
It's no surprise that Democrats as well as Republicans voted to defund ACORN – most of the Dems seem as afraid of offending the Right-Wing Attack Dogs and their corporate funders as any cracker GOP politician – but federal money was only ten percent of ACORN's revenue, so they'll still be around.
Then, when some gun-toting teabaggers, inspired by Fox News or Limbaugh, barge into an ACORN office and start 'refreshing the tree of liberty' with the blood of these uppity voter registration tyrants who refuse to call the white man 'Suh' anymore and celebrated the election of that black Hitler in the White House, our Big Media, nudged by the GOP, will play it as a political contest as to who is at fault for the attacks – yes, it was wrong for these enraged patriots to open fire on innocent unarmed people, but didn't they invite it by continuing to belong to a communist/socialist/fascist/terrorist/criminal organization that hates America like ACORN? Why, just look at these undercover videos of them encouraging a pimp and his hooker to break the law!
And we will move another inch closer to the ignorant new Dark Ages of President Palin 2012 as Obama is blamed by the Pundi-twits for not doing enough to prevent the attacks, such as forcing ACORN to disband with federal troops. In the cause of freedom, of course.
© 2009 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Quotes with a Holiday Punch
"How many observe Christ's birthday! How few his precepts!
O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments."
-- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, 1757.
"Jesus wasn't a Christian, and he never preached in a church. He was also a drinker, and liked to hang out with sinners. We think of him very highly in the Church of Stop Shopping. We put him right up there with Lenny Bruce."
-- Reverend Billy
“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”
-- Lenny Bruce
"To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals."
-- Don Schrader
"Christian fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe-spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life."
-- Andrew Lias
"The problem with fundamentalists insisting on a literal interpretation of the Bible is that the meaning of words change. A prime example is 'Spare the rod, spoil the child.' A rod was a stick used by shepherds to guide their sheep to go in the desired direction. Shepherds did not use it to beat their sheep. The proper translation of the saying is 'Give your child guidance, or they will go astray.' It does not mean 'Beat the sh*t out of your child or he will become rotten' as many fundamentalist parents seem to believe."
-- Author Unknown
"I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest, 'If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?' 'No,' said the priest, 'not if you did not know.' 'Then why,' asked the Eskimo earnestly, 'did you tell me?'"
-- Annie Dillard
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."
-- Author Unknown
"Christianity is not a religion; it's an industry."
-- Author Unknown
"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."
-- Anne Lamott
"An infinite God ought to be able to protect Himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures."
-- Robert Ingersoll
"There is no point in saying that one should not doubt or one should believe. Just to say 'I believe' does not mean that you understand and see... To force oneself to believe and to accept a thing without understanding is political, and not spiritual or intellectual."
-- Walpola Rahula, "What the Buddha Taught."
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car."
-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"No man is a Christian who cheats his fellows, perverts the truth, or speaks of a 'clean bomb,' yet he will be the first to make public his faith in God."
-- Marya Mannes in 1956.
"Great hypocrites are the true atheists."
-- Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626).
"Ye hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying,
This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth,
and honoreth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me
But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrine the commandments of men."
-- Jesus, Matthew 15:7-9, KJV.
O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments."
-- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, 1757.
"Jesus wasn't a Christian, and he never preached in a church. He was also a drinker, and liked to hang out with sinners. We think of him very highly in the Church of Stop Shopping. We put him right up there with Lenny Bruce."
-- Reverend Billy
“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”
-- Lenny Bruce
"To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals."
-- Don Schrader
"Christian fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe-spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life."
-- Andrew Lias
"The problem with fundamentalists insisting on a literal interpretation of the Bible is that the meaning of words change. A prime example is 'Spare the rod, spoil the child.' A rod was a stick used by shepherds to guide their sheep to go in the desired direction. Shepherds did not use it to beat their sheep. The proper translation of the saying is 'Give your child guidance, or they will go astray.' It does not mean 'Beat the sh*t out of your child or he will become rotten' as many fundamentalist parents seem to believe."
-- Author Unknown
"I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest, 'If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?' 'No,' said the priest, 'not if you did not know.' 'Then why,' asked the Eskimo earnestly, 'did you tell me?'"
-- Annie Dillard
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."
-- Author Unknown
"Christianity is not a religion; it's an industry."
-- Author Unknown
"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."
-- Anne Lamott
"An infinite God ought to be able to protect Himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures."
-- Robert Ingersoll
"There is no point in saying that one should not doubt or one should believe. Just to say 'I believe' does not mean that you understand and see... To force oneself to believe and to accept a thing without understanding is political, and not spiritual or intellectual."
-- Walpola Rahula, "What the Buddha Taught."
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car."
-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"No man is a Christian who cheats his fellows, perverts the truth, or speaks of a 'clean bomb,' yet he will be the first to make public his faith in God."
-- Marya Mannes in 1956.
"Great hypocrites are the true atheists."
-- Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626).
"Ye hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying,
This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth,
and honoreth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me
But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrine the commandments of men."
-- Jesus, Matthew 15:7-9, KJV.
What's Christmas Without Poetry?
Seasonal Greetings...or not.
THE GUY IN THE JESUS SUIT
(Another holiday rerun by 'popular' request.)
The guy in the Jesus suit
occupied space at the end of the bar
exuding waves of beneficence
and winey fumes to all
and sundry.
The suit fit comfortably,
38 Regular, relaxed-fit pleat pants,
with a seven-and-a-quarter halo on the side.
He muttered of Old Testament doom
and it wasn't even Sunday.
"I'm only here to fulfill prophecy,"
he remarked to the bartender,
who was taking his money from the bar.
On the jukebox Bing began to croon
'White Christmas'
and Jesus started to say,
"I'm very disappointed in you all,"
he turned to me and glared,
"As usual, you people just got it all wrong:
I was actually born in June,
and died at the end of May."
"I was a Jew preaching to Jews,
and so were all twelve original Apostles,
and then along comes Paul,
who was something of a loon,
and gives to the Gentiles a way
"to get into heaven.
Hey, the only person I said was saved
was a thief hanging next to me,
sometime before noon,
on my crucifixion day.
"And you can't even follow
the few simple words,
that I spoke in the Sermon on the Mount,
instead you fight about theological trivia
and spread horrifying gloom
and tell people there'll be hell to pay,
"Where any of you got the idea
you were wise enough
to judge anyone else,
I'll never know,
I talked about humankind's boon,
and said you should all
acknowledge your feet of clay,
"But, of course, you got it wrong again,
instead of being kinder and forgiving,
you dare use my name
to despise and complain
and drone the timeless tired human tune of
hate, vengeance,
and compelling others to obey.
"It doesn't matter how many times
you are born again, for, in truth,
you are born only once;
and it doesn't matter what
pious guise your words assume
nor any other homilies you bray,
"If you can't act on my philosophy,
you can baptize yourself 'til you drown,
and sing hymns until hoarse,
and cry to the stars and moon,
and it won't make even a whit's difference,
whatever you pray.
"You could, indeed, make of
this world a paradise,
but you choose differently,
but maybe someday you'll learn,
probably later rather than soon,
what a pity it is that
you could have created this world
two thousand years ago
or yesterday."
He finished his drink
and got up to leave the bar,
then sighed deeply and said:
"Whatever webs you weave
on deception's loom,
remember just this of what I say;
peace and love for one another
remain the only way."
Copyright 1999-2009 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org
THE GUY IN THE JESUS SUIT
(Another holiday rerun by 'popular' request.)
The guy in the Jesus suit
occupied space at the end of the bar
exuding waves of beneficence
and winey fumes to all
and sundry.
The suit fit comfortably,
38 Regular, relaxed-fit pleat pants,
with a seven-and-a-quarter halo on the side.
He muttered of Old Testament doom
and it wasn't even Sunday.
"I'm only here to fulfill prophecy,"
he remarked to the bartender,
who was taking his money from the bar.
On the jukebox Bing began to croon
'White Christmas'
and Jesus started to say,
"I'm very disappointed in you all,"
he turned to me and glared,
"As usual, you people just got it all wrong:
I was actually born in June,
and died at the end of May."
"I was a Jew preaching to Jews,
and so were all twelve original Apostles,
and then along comes Paul,
who was something of a loon,
and gives to the Gentiles a way
"to get into heaven.
Hey, the only person I said was saved
was a thief hanging next to me,
sometime before noon,
on my crucifixion day.
"And you can't even follow
the few simple words,
that I spoke in the Sermon on the Mount,
instead you fight about theological trivia
and spread horrifying gloom
and tell people there'll be hell to pay,
"Where any of you got the idea
you were wise enough
to judge anyone else,
I'll never know,
I talked about humankind's boon,
and said you should all
acknowledge your feet of clay,
"But, of course, you got it wrong again,
instead of being kinder and forgiving,
you dare use my name
to despise and complain
and drone the timeless tired human tune of
hate, vengeance,
and compelling others to obey.
"It doesn't matter how many times
you are born again, for, in truth,
you are born only once;
and it doesn't matter what
pious guise your words assume
nor any other homilies you bray,
"If you can't act on my philosophy,
you can baptize yourself 'til you drown,
and sing hymns until hoarse,
and cry to the stars and moon,
and it won't make even a whit's difference,
whatever you pray.
"You could, indeed, make of
this world a paradise,
but you choose differently,
but maybe someday you'll learn,
probably later rather than soon,
what a pity it is that
you could have created this world
two thousand years ago
or yesterday."
He finished his drink
and got up to leave the bar,
then sighed deeply and said:
"Whatever webs you weave
on deception's loom,
remember just this of what I say;
peace and love for one another
remain the only way."
Copyright 1999-2009 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Texas 'Bizarre Claims' Couple Deported
'Bizarre" Claims' Couple Deported
By Walt N. Ponde
The Corpus Christi Sun-Journal
December 24, 2009
SPECIAL TO THE SUN-JOURNAL -- The strange tale of illegal immigrants Jose and Maria Natividad has finally come to an end after a federal judge yesterday ordered the couple deported to Mexico.
They were arrested on the streets of Corpus Christi last Tuesday while seeking a place they could stay for free. Because they had no money and were unemployed, police initially charged them with vagrancy and loitering until a Spanish translator – the Natividads speak no English – discovered they were illegally in this country. The case was then turned over to U.S. immigration authorities.
INS agents told federal prosecutors that due to their age difference – Jose is 60 and Maria is 15 – they wanted Jose charged with statutory rape and transporting a minor across national borders for immoral purposes, but federal immigration Judge Ben Dayeau found that their marriage was legal under Mexican law, and ordered the deportation without additional charges filed. The local vagrancy and loitering charges were also dropped.
But that was after Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) investigators uncovered what Judge Dayeau called, "the most bizarre claims that have ever been heard in my courtroom."
Nine-months pregnant Maria Natividad told DFPS social workers that she had never consummated the marriage with her husband, that she was a virgin, and that her pregnancy was the result of divine intervention. As the DFPS report put it, "Mrs. Natividad claims she was impregnated by God and that her unborn son is the Messiah or second coming of Jesus Christ as promised in the New Testament of the Bible." Interviewed separately, Jose Natividad concurred with his wife's story.
DFPS spokesman Rod N. Staph told the Sun-Journal that under ordinary circumstances it would have ordered a complete physiological and psychological examination of Mrs. Natividad, but that recent state immigration restrictions prevented that. "She'd be in a hospital right now," Staph said, "except a new state law prohibits hospitals from treating undocumented immigrants." Instead, DFPS recommended the couple be deported as quickly as possible.
In Austin, Gov. Rick Perry reacted to the judge's ruling, telling reporters, "The people of Texas don't want to pay for another illegal Mexican mother to have her baby here, no matter what kind of crazy tale this woman is telling. If born here, their child will then be an American citizen, and it will make it more likely this couple, who have no useful skills, no money and can't speak our language, will stay here and We the People will have to pay for them. The tough new immigration laws I signed protect Texas and America from these illegal bloodsucking deadbeats and their welfare babies."
Texas religious leaders contacted for comment all agreed that Mrs. Natividad's assertions were improbable at best, with Good Samaritan Baptist Church of Dallas pastor Ballman Gilead summing up their feelings: "This is, frankly, nuts. We know the second coming will happen in the Middle East and it won't be a child of poor Mexican parents, you can be sure. This Natividad couple are just using this wild story to try and get a free ride from the U.S. taxpayer."
Mindy Putts, a translator for DFPS, said that as she was helping the Natividads on an INS bus bound for Mexico early Thursday morning, Mrs. Natividad turned to her and said in Spanish, "I would ask God to curse this state of Texas for its lack of Christian decency and hospitality, but I see that He has anticipated my request."
On her Facebook page, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin responded to the Natividad controversy by writing, "Controlling our borders is controlling our great American national destiny, and nothing is too important for that goal."
© 2009 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
By Walt N. Ponde
The Corpus Christi Sun-Journal
December 24, 2009
SPECIAL TO THE SUN-JOURNAL -- The strange tale of illegal immigrants Jose and Maria Natividad has finally come to an end after a federal judge yesterday ordered the couple deported to Mexico.
They were arrested on the streets of Corpus Christi last Tuesday while seeking a place they could stay for free. Because they had no money and were unemployed, police initially charged them with vagrancy and loitering until a Spanish translator – the Natividads speak no English – discovered they were illegally in this country. The case was then turned over to U.S. immigration authorities.
INS agents told federal prosecutors that due to their age difference – Jose is 60 and Maria is 15 – they wanted Jose charged with statutory rape and transporting a minor across national borders for immoral purposes, but federal immigration Judge Ben Dayeau found that their marriage was legal under Mexican law, and ordered the deportation without additional charges filed. The local vagrancy and loitering charges were also dropped.
But that was after Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) investigators uncovered what Judge Dayeau called, "the most bizarre claims that have ever been heard in my courtroom."
Nine-months pregnant Maria Natividad told DFPS social workers that she had never consummated the marriage with her husband, that she was a virgin, and that her pregnancy was the result of divine intervention. As the DFPS report put it, "Mrs. Natividad claims she was impregnated by God and that her unborn son is the Messiah or second coming of Jesus Christ as promised in the New Testament of the Bible." Interviewed separately, Jose Natividad concurred with his wife's story.
DFPS spokesman Rod N. Staph told the Sun-Journal that under ordinary circumstances it would have ordered a complete physiological and psychological examination of Mrs. Natividad, but that recent state immigration restrictions prevented that. "She'd be in a hospital right now," Staph said, "except a new state law prohibits hospitals from treating undocumented immigrants." Instead, DFPS recommended the couple be deported as quickly as possible.
In Austin, Gov. Rick Perry reacted to the judge's ruling, telling reporters, "The people of Texas don't want to pay for another illegal Mexican mother to have her baby here, no matter what kind of crazy tale this woman is telling. If born here, their child will then be an American citizen, and it will make it more likely this couple, who have no useful skills, no money and can't speak our language, will stay here and We the People will have to pay for them. The tough new immigration laws I signed protect Texas and America from these illegal bloodsucking deadbeats and their welfare babies."
Texas religious leaders contacted for comment all agreed that Mrs. Natividad's assertions were improbable at best, with Good Samaritan Baptist Church of Dallas pastor Ballman Gilead summing up their feelings: "This is, frankly, nuts. We know the second coming will happen in the Middle East and it won't be a child of poor Mexican parents, you can be sure. This Natividad couple are just using this wild story to try and get a free ride from the U.S. taxpayer."
Mindy Putts, a translator for DFPS, said that as she was helping the Natividads on an INS bus bound for Mexico early Thursday morning, Mrs. Natividad turned to her and said in Spanish, "I would ask God to curse this state of Texas for its lack of Christian decency and hospitality, but I see that He has anticipated my request."
On her Facebook page, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin responded to the Natividad controversy by writing, "Controlling our borders is controlling our great American national destiny, and nothing is too important for that goal."
© 2009 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
