American Politics Journal's Jan. 22, 2006 Pundit Pap ran this PR puff for Jack Abramoff's toney Washington eatery "Signatures" [I've interspersed my comments in brackets]:
-- "One of Washington's most exciting restaurants, Signatures has already earned acclaim from the Wall Street Journal as "DC's Meeting Spot for Movers and Shakers." Home to many of Washington's most recognizable political figures, Signatures has played host to royalty, Hollywood stars and sports legends."
[How much did it cost to bribe the WSJ to say that, Jack?]
-- "While dining at Signatures, you can also enjoy viewing our historic artifacts and rare political memorabilia, which are available for purchase if you so desire."
[Historic artifacts: Tom DeLay's suit made entirely of thousand-dollar bills donated to charity; a copy of the U.S. Constitution as rewritten by corporate lobbyists; the White House's 'missing' Plamegate e-mails. Rare political memorabilia: Randy 'Duke' Cunningham's yacht captain's cap; a collection of Ann Coulter's 14-inch black rubber dildos; autographed photos of Abramoff dancing cheek-to-cheek with Bush and Karl Rove; Grover Norquist's bathtub full of government cash.]
-- "American Cuisine with Global Influences:
Whether diners are looking for simple fare, or the most adventurous culinary tour de force, Executive Chef and Partner Morou offers a variety of options through a range of menus. Growing up on the Ivory Coast, Morou's first inspiration in the kitchen came from his mother. Born into a large family, he would watch his mother create impromptu feasts for up to 40 people. Combining African, French and Middle Eastern flavors, she would turn everyday meals into celebrations. This motivated Morou to develop his own signature appeal to his food through unique creations and innovative pairings."
["Morou, we split 90-10. I get the ninety percent." "But, Jack, that's not fair! I'm doing all the cooking!" "How'd you like to go back to the Ivory Coast, Slappy?"]
-- "For the more adventurous and trusting guests, the "Until You Say When" and "Put Your Meal in Morou's Hands" chef's tasting menus are a unique spin on traditional tastings. Guests can opt to challenge chef with a prix-fixe tasting menu that will keep him on his toes and sending courses out until the diner can't take another bite. Also, if you like being a VIP, forget the menu and choose "Put Your Meal in Morou's Hands," letting Chef entertain your palate with his latest creations."
["Morou will spice up all the food with his piss, you dirty white devils!"]
-- "Pre-Theatre Menu
Attending a show? You won't have to compromise a fine dining experience due to time constraints. Our innovative answer to pre-theatre dining is offered in the form of a four course tasting menu, presented bento box style.
"From 5:30PM until 7:00pm for $35.00 per person. We offer valet parking, and you can pick your car up after the show. Many of DC's top theaters are just steps from our doors."
[Including the biggest comedy of all at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW.]
-- "Sushi Bar
Signatures offers one of Washington's most acclaimed sushi bars under the direction of Chef Thu."
[Where the biggest fish are sitting at the tables.]
-- "Special Events
Signatures can accommodate special events and exclusive function needs in one of two Private Dining Rooms. Our Event Coordinator will assist you in planning a unique menu for all your parties, fundraisers and engagements."
["Would you like to reserve our Bob Ney Aberdeen Eighteen-Hole Room, or our Ralph Reed Cash-Only Indian Casino Room?"]
-- "Valet Parking
Valet parking is offered at $4.00 per vehicle. Beginning at 5:45 PM and offered until close on Pennsylvania Avenue, directly in front of the restaurant."
[But it will cost you $100.00 to get your car back from the city pound.]
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Bush's Domestic Spying Excuses Don't hold Water
There are a whole passel of excuses Bush and his enablers have been providing for his authorization of warrantless surveillance of U.S. citizens and none of them hold water.
-- He's said that there was no time to get a FISA warrant. That's nonsense -- he could start the surveillance and get a warrant up to 72 hours later, and no FISA court judge would turn down a 'hot pursuit' warrant on a terrorist.
-- He, Cheney and Hayden have claimed the bugging turned up good information. Sorry, we need more proof of that than the word of people who have been 'mistaken' and misled us in the past.
-- He's claimed he consulted with members of Congress. Sure, and some objected or said they didn't throughly understand the program. They also were not free to discuss it at any rate, since it was highly classified. He certainly didn't tell Congress who in particular he was ordering surveillance of or for what purpose.
-- He's claimed that past presidents ordered this kind of surveillance. Yes, that's exactly why the FISA Act was passed in 1978 -- to prevent future presidents from abusing their power in this way.
-- He's claimed that Justice Department lawyers told him the warrantless surveillance program was legal. Only an idiot would buy this one. Lawyers appointed by Bush tell him what he's doing is legal? No matter how many lawyers you hire to tell you a thing is legal, it's not a defense in court. "But my lawyer told me it was okay to shoot my wife in cold blood, your honor!" "You're going to jail, and so is your lawyer, after he's disbarred."
Finally, it's ludicrous to think that Al-Qaeda would send real terrorist orders by cell phone or via e-mail. Does anyone really believe they intercepted something like the following.
Hey Hassan,
Tomorrow, rent a truck from Budget, fill it with explosives and go blow up the Brooklyn Bridge at 3:00pm sharp.
BTW, DON'T go to Budget and try to get your deposit back afterwards, OK?
My best to the wife and kids.
Osama
Even before the 9/11 attacks, the terrorists were using code words and human messengers. Does Bush really expect us to believe that they have become less security conscious post 9/11? Even low-level Mafia types in the Brooklyn don't discuss sensitive matters over the phone or by e-mail -- it's just silly to think that Bin Laden's Boys would.
So, that leaves me with the strong suspicion that whatever the NSA was doing, it was something that couldn't get past the FISA court (or the court of public opinion, for that matter). Fitting in with Karl Rove's underhanded history, that would be political espionage, of the kind that Nixon attempted, which is, incidentally, why the FISA law was passed in the first place.
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Today's Quotes
"George W. is confused on a basic concept. He's commander-in-chief of the military, not the United States -- and even the top military chief is not allowed to suspend our Bill of Rights."
-- Jim Hightower, "All Hail King George," Progressive Populist, Feb. 1, 2006 issue.
"In the United States, the law says the government is owned by the people for the benefit of the people. George W. Bush has now asserted that, in order to protect the people's rights, he is usurping their ownership and placing himself solely in charge, until such time as he decides that the ownership of the government can be safely given back to the people. When has this recipe for preserving a free democracy ever worked at any time for any country in history?"
-- Max Publico
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