Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Sunday, June 03, 2012
Friday, June 01, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Sunday, April 08, 2012
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Friday, January 06, 2012
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Sunday, December 04, 2011
Sunday Sermon: Christopublican Exceptionalism, AKA ‘Hypocrisy’
"So the Pharisees, Jesus said, were the rich and the powerful and righteous who ignored the most important moral values that should guide everyone: the values of justice and mercy and faith. They were fools and foolers, and those who followed them were blinded by their own piety.
"This sounds achingly familiar today. The complaints that the religious right has lost all sense of moral values -- that it has a blind and foolish piety in its endorsement of torture, killing of innocent civilians in the name of finding a new proselyte, and ravaging of the Earth even as it is the great giver of life -- are not new charges. And they are also true. Yet the real message of Christ was that hypocrisy will be condemned, and that those who practice it will face the perils of Hell."
-- Guy Reel, "Woe to the Hypocrites," Common Dreams, Sept. 22, 2005.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Monday, February 07, 2011
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, December 25, 2009
Quotes with a Holiday Punch
"How many observe Christ's birthday! How few his precepts!
O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments."
-- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, 1757.
"Jesus wasn't a Christian, and he never preached in a church. He was also a drinker, and liked to hang out with sinners. We think of him very highly in the Church of Stop Shopping. We put him right up there with Lenny Bruce."
-- Reverend Billy
“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”
-- Lenny Bruce
"To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals."
-- Don Schrader
"Christian fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe-spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life."
-- Andrew Lias
"The problem with fundamentalists insisting on a literal interpretation of the Bible is that the meaning of words change. A prime example is 'Spare the rod, spoil the child.' A rod was a stick used by shepherds to guide their sheep to go in the desired direction. Shepherds did not use it to beat their sheep. The proper translation of the saying is 'Give your child guidance, or they will go astray.' It does not mean 'Beat the sh*t out of your child or he will become rotten' as many fundamentalist parents seem to believe."
-- Author Unknown
"I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest, 'If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?' 'No,' said the priest, 'not if you did not know.' 'Then why,' asked the Eskimo earnestly, 'did you tell me?'"
-- Annie Dillard
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."
-- Author Unknown
"Christianity is not a religion; it's an industry."
-- Author Unknown
"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."
-- Anne Lamott
"An infinite God ought to be able to protect Himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures."
-- Robert Ingersoll
"There is no point in saying that one should not doubt or one should believe. Just to say 'I believe' does not mean that you understand and see... To force oneself to believe and to accept a thing without understanding is political, and not spiritual or intellectual."
-- Walpola Rahula, "What the Buddha Taught."
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car."
-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"No man is a Christian who cheats his fellows, perverts the truth, or speaks of a 'clean bomb,' yet he will be the first to make public his faith in God."
-- Marya Mannes in 1956.
"Great hypocrites are the true atheists."
-- Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626).
"Ye hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying,
This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth,
and honoreth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me
But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrine the commandments of men."
-- Jesus, Matthew 15:7-9, KJV.
O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments."
-- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, 1757.
"Jesus wasn't a Christian, and he never preached in a church. He was also a drinker, and liked to hang out with sinners. We think of him very highly in the Church of Stop Shopping. We put him right up there with Lenny Bruce."
-- Reverend Billy
“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”
-- Lenny Bruce
"To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals."
-- Don Schrader
"Christian fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe-spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life."
-- Andrew Lias
"The problem with fundamentalists insisting on a literal interpretation of the Bible is that the meaning of words change. A prime example is 'Spare the rod, spoil the child.' A rod was a stick used by shepherds to guide their sheep to go in the desired direction. Shepherds did not use it to beat their sheep. The proper translation of the saying is 'Give your child guidance, or they will go astray.' It does not mean 'Beat the sh*t out of your child or he will become rotten' as many fundamentalist parents seem to believe."
-- Author Unknown
"I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest, 'If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?' 'No,' said the priest, 'not if you did not know.' 'Then why,' asked the Eskimo earnestly, 'did you tell me?'"
-- Annie Dillard
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."
-- Author Unknown
"Christianity is not a religion; it's an industry."
-- Author Unknown
"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."
-- Anne Lamott
"An infinite God ought to be able to protect Himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures."
-- Robert Ingersoll
"There is no point in saying that one should not doubt or one should believe. Just to say 'I believe' does not mean that you understand and see... To force oneself to believe and to accept a thing without understanding is political, and not spiritual or intellectual."
-- Walpola Rahula, "What the Buddha Taught."
"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car."
-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"No man is a Christian who cheats his fellows, perverts the truth, or speaks of a 'clean bomb,' yet he will be the first to make public his faith in God."
-- Marya Mannes in 1956.
"Great hypocrites are the true atheists."
-- Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626).
"Ye hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying,
This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth,
and honoreth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me
But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrine the commandments of men."
-- Jesus, Matthew 15:7-9, KJV.
What's Christmas Without Poetry?
Seasonal Greetings...or not.
THE GUY IN THE JESUS SUIT
(Another holiday rerun by 'popular' request.)
The guy in the Jesus suit
occupied space at the end of the bar
exuding waves of beneficence
and winey fumes to all
and sundry.
The suit fit comfortably,
38 Regular, relaxed-fit pleat pants,
with a seven-and-a-quarter halo on the side.
He muttered of Old Testament doom
and it wasn't even Sunday.
"I'm only here to fulfill prophecy,"
he remarked to the bartender,
who was taking his money from the bar.
On the jukebox Bing began to croon
'White Christmas'
and Jesus started to say,
"I'm very disappointed in you all,"
he turned to me and glared,
"As usual, you people just got it all wrong:
I was actually born in June,
and died at the end of May."
"I was a Jew preaching to Jews,
and so were all twelve original Apostles,
and then along comes Paul,
who was something of a loon,
and gives to the Gentiles a way
"to get into heaven.
Hey, the only person I said was saved
was a thief hanging next to me,
sometime before noon,
on my crucifixion day.
"And you can't even follow
the few simple words,
that I spoke in the Sermon on the Mount,
instead you fight about theological trivia
and spread horrifying gloom
and tell people there'll be hell to pay,
"Where any of you got the idea
you were wise enough
to judge anyone else,
I'll never know,
I talked about humankind's boon,
and said you should all
acknowledge your feet of clay,
"But, of course, you got it wrong again,
instead of being kinder and forgiving,
you dare use my name
to despise and complain
and drone the timeless tired human tune of
hate, vengeance,
and compelling others to obey.
"It doesn't matter how many times
you are born again, for, in truth,
you are born only once;
and it doesn't matter what
pious guise your words assume
nor any other homilies you bray,
"If you can't act on my philosophy,
you can baptize yourself 'til you drown,
and sing hymns until hoarse,
and cry to the stars and moon,
and it won't make even a whit's difference,
whatever you pray.
"You could, indeed, make of
this world a paradise,
but you choose differently,
but maybe someday you'll learn,
probably later rather than soon,
what a pity it is that
you could have created this world
two thousand years ago
or yesterday."
He finished his drink
and got up to leave the bar,
then sighed deeply and said:
"Whatever webs you weave
on deception's loom,
remember just this of what I say;
peace and love for one another
remain the only way."
Copyright 1999-2009 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org
THE GUY IN THE JESUS SUIT
(Another holiday rerun by 'popular' request.)
The guy in the Jesus suit
occupied space at the end of the bar
exuding waves of beneficence
and winey fumes to all
and sundry.
The suit fit comfortably,
38 Regular, relaxed-fit pleat pants,
with a seven-and-a-quarter halo on the side.
He muttered of Old Testament doom
and it wasn't even Sunday.
"I'm only here to fulfill prophecy,"
he remarked to the bartender,
who was taking his money from the bar.
On the jukebox Bing began to croon
'White Christmas'
and Jesus started to say,
"I'm very disappointed in you all,"
he turned to me and glared,
"As usual, you people just got it all wrong:
I was actually born in June,
and died at the end of May."
"I was a Jew preaching to Jews,
and so were all twelve original Apostles,
and then along comes Paul,
who was something of a loon,
and gives to the Gentiles a way
"to get into heaven.
Hey, the only person I said was saved
was a thief hanging next to me,
sometime before noon,
on my crucifixion day.
"And you can't even follow
the few simple words,
that I spoke in the Sermon on the Mount,
instead you fight about theological trivia
and spread horrifying gloom
and tell people there'll be hell to pay,
"Where any of you got the idea
you were wise enough
to judge anyone else,
I'll never know,
I talked about humankind's boon,
and said you should all
acknowledge your feet of clay,
"But, of course, you got it wrong again,
instead of being kinder and forgiving,
you dare use my name
to despise and complain
and drone the timeless tired human tune of
hate, vengeance,
and compelling others to obey.
"It doesn't matter how many times
you are born again, for, in truth,
you are born only once;
and it doesn't matter what
pious guise your words assume
nor any other homilies you bray,
"If you can't act on my philosophy,
you can baptize yourself 'til you drown,
and sing hymns until hoarse,
and cry to the stars and moon,
and it won't make even a whit's difference,
whatever you pray.
"You could, indeed, make of
this world a paradise,
but you choose differently,
but maybe someday you'll learn,
probably later rather than soon,
what a pity it is that
you could have created this world
two thousand years ago
or yesterday."
He finished his drink
and got up to leave the bar,
then sighed deeply and said:
"Whatever webs you weave
on deception's loom,
remember just this of what I say;
peace and love for one another
remain the only way."
Copyright 1999-2009 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Texas 'Bizarre Claims' Couple Deported
'Bizarre" Claims' Couple Deported
By Walt N. Ponde
The Corpus Christi Sun-Journal
December 24, 2009
SPECIAL TO THE SUN-JOURNAL -- The strange tale of illegal immigrants Jose and Maria Natividad has finally come to an end after a federal judge yesterday ordered the couple deported to Mexico.
They were arrested on the streets of Corpus Christi last Tuesday while seeking a place they could stay for free. Because they had no money and were unemployed, police initially charged them with vagrancy and loitering until a Spanish translator – the Natividads speak no English – discovered they were illegally in this country. The case was then turned over to U.S. immigration authorities.
INS agents told federal prosecutors that due to their age difference – Jose is 60 and Maria is 15 – they wanted Jose charged with statutory rape and transporting a minor across national borders for immoral purposes, but federal immigration Judge Ben Dayeau found that their marriage was legal under Mexican law, and ordered the deportation without additional charges filed. The local vagrancy and loitering charges were also dropped.
But that was after Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) investigators uncovered what Judge Dayeau called, "the most bizarre claims that have ever been heard in my courtroom."
Nine-months pregnant Maria Natividad told DFPS social workers that she had never consummated the marriage with her husband, that she was a virgin, and that her pregnancy was the result of divine intervention. As the DFPS report put it, "Mrs. Natividad claims she was impregnated by God and that her unborn son is the Messiah or second coming of Jesus Christ as promised in the New Testament of the Bible." Interviewed separately, Jose Natividad concurred with his wife's story.
DFPS spokesman Rod N. Staph told the Sun-Journal that under ordinary circumstances it would have ordered a complete physiological and psychological examination of Mrs. Natividad, but that recent state immigration restrictions prevented that. "She'd be in a hospital right now," Staph said, "except a new state law prohibits hospitals from treating undocumented immigrants." Instead, DFPS recommended the couple be deported as quickly as possible.
In Austin, Gov. Rick Perry reacted to the judge's ruling, telling reporters, "The people of Texas don't want to pay for another illegal Mexican mother to have her baby here, no matter what kind of crazy tale this woman is telling. If born here, their child will then be an American citizen, and it will make it more likely this couple, who have no useful skills, no money and can't speak our language, will stay here and We the People will have to pay for them. The tough new immigration laws I signed protect Texas and America from these illegal bloodsucking deadbeats and their welfare babies."
Texas religious leaders contacted for comment all agreed that Mrs. Natividad's assertions were improbable at best, with Good Samaritan Baptist Church of Dallas pastor Ballman Gilead summing up their feelings: "This is, frankly, nuts. We know the second coming will happen in the Middle East and it won't be a child of poor Mexican parents, you can be sure. This Natividad couple are just using this wild story to try and get a free ride from the U.S. taxpayer."
Mindy Putts, a translator for DFPS, said that as she was helping the Natividads on an INS bus bound for Mexico early Thursday morning, Mrs. Natividad turned to her and said in Spanish, "I would ask God to curse this state of Texas for its lack of Christian decency and hospitality, but I see that He has anticipated my request."
On her Facebook page, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin responded to the Natividad controversy by writing, "Controlling our borders is controlling our great American national destiny, and nothing is too important for that goal."
© 2009 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
By Walt N. Ponde
The Corpus Christi Sun-Journal
December 24, 2009
SPECIAL TO THE SUN-JOURNAL -- The strange tale of illegal immigrants Jose and Maria Natividad has finally come to an end after a federal judge yesterday ordered the couple deported to Mexico.
They were arrested on the streets of Corpus Christi last Tuesday while seeking a place they could stay for free. Because they had no money and were unemployed, police initially charged them with vagrancy and loitering until a Spanish translator – the Natividads speak no English – discovered they were illegally in this country. The case was then turned over to U.S. immigration authorities.
INS agents told federal prosecutors that due to their age difference – Jose is 60 and Maria is 15 – they wanted Jose charged with statutory rape and transporting a minor across national borders for immoral purposes, but federal immigration Judge Ben Dayeau found that their marriage was legal under Mexican law, and ordered the deportation without additional charges filed. The local vagrancy and loitering charges were also dropped.
But that was after Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) investigators uncovered what Judge Dayeau called, "the most bizarre claims that have ever been heard in my courtroom."
Nine-months pregnant Maria Natividad told DFPS social workers that she had never consummated the marriage with her husband, that she was a virgin, and that her pregnancy was the result of divine intervention. As the DFPS report put it, "Mrs. Natividad claims she was impregnated by God and that her unborn son is the Messiah or second coming of Jesus Christ as promised in the New Testament of the Bible." Interviewed separately, Jose Natividad concurred with his wife's story.
DFPS spokesman Rod N. Staph told the Sun-Journal that under ordinary circumstances it would have ordered a complete physiological and psychological examination of Mrs. Natividad, but that recent state immigration restrictions prevented that. "She'd be in a hospital right now," Staph said, "except a new state law prohibits hospitals from treating undocumented immigrants." Instead, DFPS recommended the couple be deported as quickly as possible.
In Austin, Gov. Rick Perry reacted to the judge's ruling, telling reporters, "The people of Texas don't want to pay for another illegal Mexican mother to have her baby here, no matter what kind of crazy tale this woman is telling. If born here, their child will then be an American citizen, and it will make it more likely this couple, who have no useful skills, no money and can't speak our language, will stay here and We the People will have to pay for them. The tough new immigration laws I signed protect Texas and America from these illegal bloodsucking deadbeats and their welfare babies."
Texas religious leaders contacted for comment all agreed that Mrs. Natividad's assertions were improbable at best, with Good Samaritan Baptist Church of Dallas pastor Ballman Gilead summing up their feelings: "This is, frankly, nuts. We know the second coming will happen in the Middle East and it won't be a child of poor Mexican parents, you can be sure. This Natividad couple are just using this wild story to try and get a free ride from the U.S. taxpayer."
Mindy Putts, a translator for DFPS, said that as she was helping the Natividads on an INS bus bound for Mexico early Thursday morning, Mrs. Natividad turned to her and said in Spanish, "I would ask God to curse this state of Texas for its lack of Christian decency and hospitality, but I see that He has anticipated my request."
On her Facebook page, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin responded to the Natividad controversy by writing, "Controlling our borders is controlling our great American national destiny, and nothing is too important for that goal."
© 2009 RS Janes. LTSaloon.org.
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