Through the Lens of CNN, the Most 'Trusted' Name in News:
Item 1: Susan Lisovich told viewers that for every stock that's going up, four are going down and Wall Street is facing a housing market meltdown. Still, that's no reason to panic.
Item 2: Reporting on the politically-motivated firings of eight federal prosecutors, US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales was shown in a clip telling the media that 'mistakes were made' and he was 'responsible' but won't resign because it was all the fault of his Chief of Staff Kyle Sampson, who has resigned. How eight senior Justice Department district attorneys could have been dismissed without Gonzales' knowledge and assent is a mystery for the ages. Perhaps he just doesn't pay much attention to his job, which isn't illegal, especially in the Bush Administration. End of story, right?
Item 3: The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Marine Gen. Peter Pace, revealed that, due to the way he was raised, he's uncomfortable with black people in the military, claiming they're 'immoral' -- wait, sorry, that's homosexuals in the military. Of course, his personal prejudices will not in any way affect the way he does his job.
Item 4: In a related item, Wolf Blitzer's first question to Dem presidential candidate John Edwards had to do with his reaction to Pace's remarks concerning gays in the military as if, since Coulter's backhanded reference to Edwards as a 'faggot,' he is now the spokesperson for gay men. Nice play, Wolf! Don't forget to pick up your swag bag from the RNC. When are you going to ask Rudy Giuliani, who frequently dresses up as a woman, if his party is really just a refuge for closeted self-hating gay men?
Item 5: US President [sic] George W. Bush finished up a whirlwind tour of Latin America with a sumptuous photo-op starring him, Laura, Mexican President Felipe Calderon, and Calderon's wife Margerita. No doubt, considering Bush's overwhelming popularity in Central and South America, a few heavily-guarded speeches and state dinners will suffice to bring those peons down there into line, especially with the news that the lion's share of US aid to the region goes to bolster the successful US War on Drugs. Take that, Hugo Chavez!
Item 6: Ads featured a man who wanted to have a love affair with the computer-generated female voice in his rental car's on-board GPS navigation system but was rejected, and headache sufferers who hated their favorite headache relief product's annoying TV commercials, but loved the product itself so much they were willing to appear in more annoying ads to inform the public of that fact.
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