Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Ye Olde Tattlesnake -- Keeping Abreast of the Royal Court Edition

More of the 'Fragrant Gloom' of King George the Younger

Lady Alice. -- "... Nay, 'tis not I ...[that] have broughte forth this rich o'ermastering fog, this fragrant gloom, so pray you seeke ye further. ..."
Ye Queene.-- "O' God's name, who hath favored us? Hath it come to pass ... [that] a fart shall fart itself?"
Jonson.-- "So fell a blast hath ne'er mine ears saluted, nor yet a stench so all-pervading ..."
-- From "1601" by Mark Twain.

Twas on the Twentieth Day of March in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Seven, that CNN, that Most Trusted Name amongst the Various Names Doing the Business of the Realm's News, reporteth that His Majesty will Magnanimously Permit members of His Court to Speak in Confidence with Commoners from the Lesser Branches of the Government on Capitol Hill, Stipulating that they Shall Not be Under Oath, nor will their Words be Transcribed for later Recitation, say in a Courtroom, regarding the Matter of Certain Royal Prosecutors who were Dismissed because they Ceased to Amuse His Highness; Such Prosecutors, after all, Serving Solely at His Royal Pleasure.

Some of the Surly Great Unwashed hath questioned the Value of such Secret Communication, conducted away from the Prying Eyes and Ever-Suspicious Ears of the Wretched Vassals of the Public Square.

How Dare these Peasants Challenge the Veracity of Vice Regent Rove or the Wholesomeness of Lady Miers! By What Right do they Impugn Trickery or Artifice to the Words of these Worthies?! And Why Require a Transcription of their Conversations -- will not their own Solemn Report on such Exchanges be Ample to Assuage any Doubt?!

Certainly the Sterling Reputations of these Humble Servants of the Crown are Sufficient to Excuse their Personages from the sort of Humiliating Sacred Oath Required in Court of the vulgar Blacksmith, coarse Laborer, penny-poor Wheelwright or shifty wine-drunk Village Foole, vaingloriously tapping out Feculent Messages that Sail Through the Ether! Why the King Himself has Endorsed their Scrupulous Virtue and Honorable Status! Need ye other Vouchsafe than That, ye Varlets!

By All That's Holy -- next these Lowly Serfs will Gainsay the Public Issuances of Our Most Exalted Chancellor Cheney -- then Where shall We Be?!

God Save the Empire!

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