Abramoff's Realization: Sometimes knowing Jack isn't such a good thing.
Alito's Way: A conflict of interest isn't a conflict of interest as long as a judge says it isn't a conflict of interest and only a judge with a vested interest in the conflict has the ability to judge that.
Bush's Mandate: When you barely eke out a victory, never think you have the people on your side.
Brownie's Dogmatism: Even inept idiots can get a job if they know the 'right' people.
Chertoff's Conclusion: Always keep the horns trimmed and the tail hidden in public.
CNN's Complexity: We are the most trusted name in news as long as it doesn't interfere with TimeWarner's profits.
Condoleezza's Principle of Footwear: You can spend enough on shoes to cover the earth in leather.
Coulter's Confabulation: Extensive footnotes, even if false, always add an air of perfumed veracity to the stench of sordid propaganda.
DeLay's Dictum: If you use a hammer often enough, you will eventually hit your own thumb.
Dick's Declamation: Plausible deniability only works when it's undeniably plausible.
Dobson's Diversion: There is nothing so stupid that it cannot be relied on to increase donations.
Dubya's Denouement: Ultimately, like Caesar, it is your friends who will do you in.
Fitzgerald's Formula: Absence of an indictment is not proof that there was no crime committed.
Fox's Fulcrum: If there is no one on the left side of the teeter-totter, you are sitting on the ground going nowhere.
Frist's Instruction: Outrage is no substitute for honesty, and what part of 'blind trust' don't you understand?
Greenspan's Locution: Always accept enormous amounts of credit for small amounts of work.
Grover's Game Over: Never complain about government regulations while you're profiting from government regulations.
Hannity's Howler: I love America so much I want to own the place.
Hemingway's Edict: Don't mistake motion for action and most of what people do is just motion.
Holden Caulfield's Warning: Most adults are hideous liars and hypocrites, and the chances triple if they are born on third base and enter politics.
Jerry's Kid: Always repeat 'it's the sin not the sinner' as you condemn others you don't like to burn in hell.
Kerry's Conundrum: A politician must consistently adhere to his or her positions of the past, even after a tank has run over your cavalry horse.
McClellan's First Law of Mendacity: Any lie to the public to keep your job is pardonable if you have a mortgage.
Matthews' Misalignment: While pretending to be balanced, never fail to erroneously make the case for the left, while allowing the right to freely spew whatever misleading talking point they desire uncorrected.
Mehlman's Methodology: My principles are never for sale -- except to the highest bidder.
Miers' Meme: Cronyism has its limits and cronies are always limited.
Novak's Nullification: The sewage drainpipe is the most important part of modern plumbing and the highest function of the political journalist.
O'Reilly's Nocturnal Omission: That buzzing you hear is not necessarily a busy bee.
Powell's Postulation: The more you know about a subject, the less likely you are to have Feith in it.
Robert's Rule of Place Your Order: To cinch a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, reveal less about yourself than a teenager has to reveal applying for part-time job at a fast-food restaurant.
Rove's Reminder: Both Machiavelli and McKinley ended badly.
Rumsfeld's Redoubt: If you don't know how to use the army you have, don't start any wars.
Russert's Rules of Overreaction: Always pretend shock at things that don't shock you and emphasize unimportant questions as if they were important.
Scooter's Posit: Commit perjury until the election's over so that the president you helped elect with your perjury can then pardon you for perjury.
Shaw's Theory of the Middle Class: It's always easy to have middle-class morality when you have the security of middle-class money; it's even easier to have no morality when you have too much money.
Thomas' English Muffin Rules of Supreme Court Justice: Remember on which side your bread is buttered by keeping your mouth shut, looking awake, and agreeing with the white guy on your right.
Tucker's Trope of Bowtie Logic: By omitting inconvenient facts and imitating collegiate enthusiasm, you, too, can actually make people think you're honest and know what you're talking about.
Tuchman's Law of Government: Every government, no matter how well it starts, eventually works against its own interests; if it starts badly, there's nowhere to go but down.
Tuchman's Law of Leadership: The more power vested in an individual, the less likely they are to use that power wisely.
Wolf's Whistle: Large TV screens and a braying urgency in the voice can always make a bus accident into the coming of Armageddon.
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Quote to Quote to Quote
"Cheney earned forty-four million dollars during his tenure at Halliburton. Although he has said that he 'severed all my ties with the company,' he continues to collect deferred compensation worth approximately a hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year, and he retains stock options worth more than eighteen million dollars...."
-- Jane Mayer, "What did the Vice-President do for Halliburton?" The New Yorker, Feb. 9, 2004.
"But hasn't the BushCheney-Halliburton coziness reached a level of perverse discomfort when the corporation demands -- and is given by our government -- a BONUS of $38 million on its overcharges to us taxpayers? Yes, bonus!
[...]
"The Bushites have offered no explanation for their decision to shower such generosity on their favorite corporations. This is the same administraiton demanding that Congress 'get serious' about cutting 'unnecessary' spending -- a challenge being met by cuts in food stamps, health care, child care, and other programs to help poor people."
-- Jim Hightower, "Halliburton's Bonus," The Progressive Populist, Jan. 1-15, 2006 issue.
"The craftiest trickery are too short and ragged a cloak to cover a bad heart."
-- Johann Kaspar Lavater
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